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“Sorry.”
“Are you okay? Are you having second thoughts about everything?”
“God, no! But I’m fine. It’s just that I met this guy on the plane yesterday, and then when we landed in Los Angeles, we grabbed a bite to eat. We sat together again on the plane to Hawaii. Now he’s staying at the same hotel, and I just saw him looking at me from across the restaurant.”
“Oh. Meow. Is he hot?”
I smiled. “Yeah. He is incredibly hot, and he’s here with his girlfriend.”
“Damn.”
“No damn, Kellan. A guy is the last thing I need. Remember, I’m starting my life over. It’s a guy-free zone, at least for the next ten years or so.”
“I think ten years is a little ridiculous, Jilly Bean.”
“Nah. Ten should give me enough time to figure out who I am. There will be no exceptions.”
“If you say so. Go enjoy Hawaii. I just wanted to update you on the evil queen.”
“Thanks for letting me know. I’ll talk to you later.”
As I was eating my breakfast, I saw Drew and Jess get up from their table and head out of the restaurant with his hand on the small of her back. I won’t lie and say that my mind didn’t wonder what it would be like to have him as a boyfriend. The thought of dating scared me. I had only been with one guy my entire life: Grant. Ugh. The thought of him made my stomach feel sick. He came from an influential family of lawyers. And yes, we did attend Yale together. I think it was his and my parents’ way of keeping an eye on me. His father, a hotshot lawyer, owned a high-power firm, and as soon as Grant passed the bar, he would immediately become a partner and then take over completely when his father retired. I had no clue how he would be a lawyer since he never bothered to listen to what anyone said unless it benefited him. He was the true definition of a narcissist. He wasn’t even all that good-looking. I mean, he was cute in his five-foot-eight way. He was your typical preppy boy. He had short dark hair that swept to the side, blue eyes, and certainly no muscles anywhere to be found on his body. He always wore polo shirts, which I hated, and occasionally, he would tie a sweater around his neck. If you looked up the definition of a snob in the dictionary, you’d see his picture full front and center. He looked down on people who didn’t have the kind of wealth he had, and he was never ashamed to flaunt it. He was a cheater, a liar, and didn’t care about anyone but himself.
Now, let’s talk about sex. The thought made me shudder. His penis—Well, let’s say that half the time, I couldn’t even feel it. I faked more orgasms than I had actual ones, and the actual ones were compliments of myself. He thought he was the man in the bedroom, but the truth was, he was just a boy who didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. We hadn’t had sex in months. It became draining trying to make excuses for not wanting to. I was too tired, had a headache, had an infection, was ovulating, was on my period, and forgot to take my birth control pill the night before. You name it, I used it. Having sex with him was something I dreaded. It wasn’t a partnership. It was more about him satisfying his own needs.
I had meant what I said to Kellan on the phone. My new life and journey that I was about to embark on was about me. I didn’t care if “Mr. Right” walked up to me at this very moment. Guys wouldn’t be a part of my journey, not for a very long time. This was a solo mission. My entire life had been in other people's hands, and now, I was taking it back.
After breakfast, I decided to do a little stand-up paddle boarding. So, I headed up to my suite, changed into my black bikini, threw my cover-up on, grabbed a towel, and headed out the door. When the doors to the elevator opened, I saw Drew and Jess standing there.
“Hi.” I smiled.
“Hi,” Drew spoke with a small smile.
“Hello.” Jess looked me up and down. “Are you going to the pool?” she asked.
“Paddle boarding,” I replied.
“Ugh, I hate paddle boarding.”
“Well, it’s not for everyone.” I slightly rolled my eyes.
When the elevator doors opened, I stepped out and spoke, “Have a great day.”
“You too,” Drew replied.
While they walked away, I couldn’t help but stare at his attire. Black swim trunks that were just the right length, a tight light gray t-shirt that hugged his body in all the right places, and flip-flops. He looked smoking hot, and I wouldn’t lie and say my bikini bottoms didn’t get a little wet. Ugh. Shaking my head and returning to reality, I walked over to the paddle boards.
“Can I paddle board out to that little island?” I pointed.
“You sure can. There are a couple of spots where you can sit down and get some sun if you want.”
“Great.” I smiled.
A feeling of peace overtook me as I got on the paddle board and made my way toward the island. As I was sitting there with my knees hugging my chest, I stared out into the ocean and listened to the serene sound of the waves. I had been to Hawaii many times growing up, and every time I visited, I felt the same peace that resided in me now, but that sense of feeling flew away the minute we stepped on the plane to go home.
Staring out and taking in the warmth of the sun that enveloped me, I noticed a man who kept falling off his paddle board heading towards the island. As I strained my eyes to get a better look, it seemed that man looked like Drew. He saw me staring at him as he sat on his board and stretched his arms as if he was giving up. Laughing, I grabbed my board and paddled out to him.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
