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“The two of you have about five minutes left of crying time, and then it stops. I was prepared for this. I knew deep down that I wasn’t going to get better. I made peace with it already, and I need you both to do the same. I’m not afraid to die.”
After drying my eyes, I left the room to give her and Noah time alone. Walking out of the hospital, I put on my sunglasses and sat on a bench underneath a large tree. The tears wouldn’t stop falling, and I had never felt so alone. She was my sister, she was dying, and I had no one to talk to right here, right now. I tried calling Kellan, but he didn’t answer, so I pulled up Drew’s number. He said if I ever needed anything to call him. But what did I actually need? To hear his voice? Maybe. No. I wasn’t going to burden him with my problems. I had never even mentioned Kristen to him. Anyway, I was sure he’d already forgotten about me and the fact that he even gave me his number. I needed to grow the hell up and push my feelings about this aside for now and be there for my sister. I couldn’t let her see me crumble into a million pieces.
As I approached her room, I stared at her in the doorway.
“Where have you been?” she softly spoke.
“Outside, sitting on a bench under a large tree.” I gently grinned.
“Okay. I get it. You needed your time to absorb what Dr. Jenkins said.”
“Where’s Noah?” I asked as I sat down on the edge of her bed.
“He’s calling his family.” She grabbed my hand. “Listen, I’m going to make the most of the time I have left, and that doesn’t include watching the people I love being upset. Jill, you must understand that I was prepared for this, so it’s not news to me.”
“How the fuck are you so strong?” I pouted.
“I get it from my mom. She wasn’t afraid to die, and neither am I. I know it’s hard on you and Noah. If the situation were reversed, I’d be devastated, but I need you to go on. Live your life as if I wasn’t dying. I intend to, and I will make each day worth it. Would you like to take a painting class with me?” She smiled.
“A painting class?” I cocked my head.
“Yes. I’ve always wanted to take one, and damn it, I’m going to do it before it’s too late.”
“I’d love to take a painting class with you. Would you like me to set it up?”
“Nope. I’ll do it and let you know when it is.”
I leaned over and hugged her. “You are so brave, my dear sister.”
“It runs in our family.” She smiled. “You’re the brave one for leaving your family behind and starting a new life. Not many people can do that.”
“I didn’t leave my family behind. You’re my family and all the family I need.”
Noah walked back into the room with his parents, and immediately, his mother started to cry.
“Go home now. There’s no reason for you to stay and witness this. I’m fine, and I’ll call you later.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Very sure.” She gave a small smile. “You better go fix your eyes. They’re a mess.”
“I know.” I put my sunglasses back on.
I kissed her and hugged Noah goodbye. As I stepped out of the hospital, the once bright blue sunny sky had turned gray, and now it was raining. I wasn’t ready to go home yet. Walking back into the hospital, I stopped at the gift shop and picked up an umbrella. I decided to leave my sunglasses on to hide the fact that I’d been crying. If I was going to walk around the streets of New York City, I didn’t need people staring at me.
Walking down Madison Ave, I stared straight ahead as I held the umbrella over my head. My shoes sloshed on the wet pavement as the rain poured down. Kristen told me not to be sad, but how could I not be? She was the only person I had left in this world, and now she was being taken away from me. The rain suddenly stopped, and the sun appeared from amongst the clouds. As I was closing my umbrella, I pulled my ringing phone from my pocket. When I looked down at it, I saw Kellan was calling.
“Oh, excuse me,” a man’s voice spoke, and his hand lightly touched my arm as he walked by.
“I’m sor—” I turned around and gasped. “Drew?” I shouted.
He stopped dead in his tracks and stood there for a second before turning around.
“Jillian?”
“Yes!” My heart started pounding.
He walked towards me, stopped, stood there, and stared at me.
