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Oliver leans forward, his breath hitting my ear and stirring my stomach. “Are you sure?”
I nod. I might regret this later, but I want to live and dance with a boy. So, please, universe, let me be that girl, the one you refused to let me be.
Dancing with Oliver is easy, natural, and scary. Scary not because I fear the man behind me, but scary because I like it. I like it so much that it makes the little bit of control I have over my life feel like pebbles being cast into the water at Alliance’s shore. I get to control who knows about my existence, but not their reaction.
I’ve never experienced coming out before. Sure, I started going to high school in skirts and my face clad in makeup, but I never had a chance to be seen as anything other than a trans girl. When I thought I had found someone to accept me, he used me and threw me away.
Why the fuck am I thinking of Dalton right now when Oliver is here?
I let myself fall a little further. The presence of Oliver’s hands gripping my waist, tracing his thumb in a circle, arousing my senses. My nerves shoot off pings of pleasure. My thoughts drift off, letting the music and the sway of his hips carry us. Without even a trace of thought, I lean back into Oliver, pressing my back almost fully into him.
His body stiffens for a second, and then his arms wrap entirely around my waist. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but his body is reacting to me the same way mine is to him. There’s a bit of pressure building against my back, and a small groan comes from Oliver’s mouth.
“You’re killing me, Sally.” His words cause more heat to invade my body.
I don’t even know how I can get hotter, but here I am, burning against him.
My attention draws back to the dance floor, and I realize that most of the couples are gone. The song still vibrates the air to the point that I can’t hear the lyrics, but that might be the buzz in my ear from Oliver holding me close.
Ella would love the openness. She wouldn’t worry about people staring, and she could be free. There’s even a chance she might dance with Jaxon, though that’s a stretch.
I was always too self-conscious to actually dance in the past, and Ella would stand beside me even when she had a girlfriend or boyfriend. I would tell her it was okay to go dance, but she would just shake her head, saying she’d rather hang out with me.
I grew in recklessness but never confidence. Even when Leon, Lotte, and I would break into an abandoned building just for the fun of it.
Leon always had enough confidence for the people around him. I think he got it from living with Lotte longer than me. Charlotte, our most reckless family member. The one that tries her best to make us live life to the fullest.
Parties give me anxiety. The closeness and loud music just cause my nerves to stay on edge. The social pressure involved in parties certainly doesn’t help.
Leon loves the attention, dancing on guys until they beg him to sneak off into some self-made closet. There have even been times I had to play the mature one around him and stop the little guy from going too far.
Wait.
Leon.
I haven’t seen him or Ella since we got to the party. I’ve been too busy with Oliver.
Then. my eyes land on a guy walking through the room with a line of white dust under his nose.
My body stiffens at the thought of Leon alone, which Oliver notices as we stop swaying. “What’s up, princess?”
“Oliver,” I breathe with my mind racing at thoughts of Leon. He’s emotionally vulnerable right now. He’s here because he needed a break from Darien and to get away from his cheating ex-boyfriend. “How old are most of the people here?”
“Umm.” He raises his brow at the question. “I’m not sure of the exact ages, but anywhere from seventeen to twenty-two. Most of the time, the people here are just here for the summer.”
My blood pumps through my body, roaring in my ear to the point that I can’t hear him anymore. I want to have hope that Leon would walk away from someone older than him, but he’s vulnerable right now, and I haven’t seen him at all.
I unlatch myself from Oliver, walking away. It only takes a second for Oliver to be right on my heels. Damn, these fucking shoes. I could move faster if I weren’t in them.
“Sally, what’s going on?” His words fall on deaf ears as I weave through people trying to get refills or fuck.
It doesn’t matter if they are in my way.
Oliver’s arm reaches out and grabs my arm, and I instinctively try to pull away, but his grip tightens. My body turns, and our eyes meet. The confusion riddling his face hurts, but I need to find my little brother. I try to pull away again.
“What’s happening?” he asks in a low voice.
“Do people have drugs here?”
