AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Can I just get a beer?” I interjected, turning to the hostess.
“Of course, sir,” she chirped before scurrying off to fulfill our order.
“Gray, you can’t be sipping on beer in a joint like this,” Remy teased, flashing me a smirk. It was a playful bit we enjoyed. He played up his role of the pretentious billionaire, and I in turn, turned up my part of the uneducated small town hick. I’d deliberately donned my work jeans and favorite flannel, purely for his amusement. He relished watching the stuck up clientele of establishments like this attempt to conceal their confusion at the two of us hanging out.
“Well, if they didn’t want me knockin’ back a cold one, they oughta think twice ‘bout putin’ it on the menu,” I argued, adding an extra twang to my words.
“It’s good to see you, man,” Remy said sincerely.
“Yeah, you too.” The anger that had simmered earlier dissipated like smoke in the wind.
We engaged in our usual easy banter until our drinks arrived, skirting around the proverbial elephant in the room.
As soon as my beer arrived, I took a hearty swig before diving in. “So, I couldn’t help but notice this isn’t exactly the wild night of fun you promised. So lay it on me. What’s so vital you had to drag me all the way to St Louis and lie to me just so you could say it to my face?”
“I didn’t lie. I simply figured it might be a good idea to get a sense of where your head is at before I throw you to the wolves in some seedy club. But if you’d prefer, I can settle the bill right now and we can go have some real fun.”
“You really think I’m buying that? You could’ve asked me that over the phone. Hell, you do ask me that over the phone, and my answer is always the same. You just choose to ignore me,” I grumbled.
“I know, but do you really think I can’t read between the lines with you? I wanted to be able to see your expression when you spit out your prefabricated answers so I can call you on your bullshit,” Remy countered.
I ran my hand over my face to stifle a groan. “How many times are we going to rehash this, Rem? I’m fine. Maybe my choices aren’t what you’d make in my shoes, but that doesn’t make them wrong. What’s so terrible about wanting to live a quiet life and raising Violet to be a good person?” I argued.
“Gray, I’m not trying to dictate your life. I’m fucking glad you have Vi. You know I love that kid like she’s my own niece. But I’m worried about you centering your entire world around her. It reminds me of what you did with, well, you know who…” he trailed off, still skirting around the issue.
“Ha!” I scoffed. “Didn’t even take you a full minute this time to bring him up. It’s been five years, Rem. Why do you always bring everything back to him?”
“Because you’re still punishing yourself over what happened!” he hissed.
“No I’m not. I’ve told you, I’ve moved on.”
“Is that so? Is that why you still try to contact him all the time? You think I don’t know that you still fucking call him, even though he blocked you a million years ago? That you DM him all the time in the hopes that one day, someone from his team might pass on the message.”
“There’s a difference between being over him and still wanting to give him the apology he’s owed,” I snapped.
“That’s precisely my point! You’re still so consumed with your guilt over ending things with him when your life was imploding that you bend over backwards trying to make up for it. You put everyone above yourself. You kill yourself trying to be everything they need. To your own detriment.”
“I do not!” I said defensively.
“Then, when was the last time you did something just for yourself? Not for Violet, not the kids you coach, or your friends. Just you,” Remy challenged.
“What do you want from me?” I snapped, getting pissed off. “I came out tonight!” I threw my hands up in exasperation.
“Yeah, because I guilt-tripped you into it. Are you honestly trying to tell me you would have willingly come out tonight if I hadn’t practically begged?” He pinned me with a knowing stare that said he knew I was full of shit.
I held my tongue because he already knew the truth. Of course I didn’t want to fucking come out tonight.
Remy reached across the table and clasped my hand. “Hey,” he said with a softer tone this time. “I’m not trying to shit on your choices. In fact, I’d probably do the same if I were in your shoes. I saw you and Colt together. You two were the real deal, and it fucking sucks you don’t get to have the life together that you deserve. And I get it. The need for closure. You want to be able to talk to him and lay out all those unsaid feelings on the table. All I’m asking is that you stop putting your life on hold waiting for that day to come.”
I wasn’t putting my life on hold; I was prioritizing my child’s welfare, as any responsible parent would.
“How exactly am I putting my life on hold? I’m just doing what needs to be done to give Violet what she needs. It’s all on me, so I can’t abandon everything to go discover myself or whatever you’re implying.”
“I get that you want to be there for her. You’re an exceptional dad. No one is disputing that. But it’s not healthy to make her your whole world. What will you do when she leaves the nest eventually? Because, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not that far off. Are you just going to sit at home alone, working away at that shitty job you hate, ruminating on everything you did wrong with Colt? Or maybe you’ll find another person who needs saving and make them your new project?”
That low blow stung, especially coming from Remy. “This may come as a shock to you, Remington,” I intentionally used his full name, knowing it grated on him, “but most people hate their jobs. We can’t all afford to throw caution to the wind and do whatever the hell we want. Some of us have bills to pay. And whether or not I choose to continue helping kids once Vi leaves home is none of your damn business.”
A flicker of hurt flashed across his features. Normally, I made it a point to refrain from bringing up his privilege, especially considering the way he endeavored to use his wealth for good. But there were certain struggles Remy would never fully comprehend. Working a shit job for shit pay just to put food on the table and clothes on your child’s back was one of them.
