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“Derrick,” Amaya sighs with visible frustration. “What do you want?”
“I want to talk, Amaya. Come on, you’ve been freezing me out and it’s killing me.”
“I don’t want to talk. Please, go away.”
She’s about to close the door in his face when he stops it with his hand. “I love you,” he says.
“I don’t love you. Piss off. I’m calling security.”
I like the tone of her voice, certain and unforgiving. I’ll bet she’s got one knee locked and ready to go for his balls if he pushes his luck—not that I’ll allow him such an opportunity. I’ll tear him apart if he tries to bust his way past her into the house.
“Amaya, be reasonable. I promised I would win you back, and it’s what I’ve been working toward,” Derrick says.
“I don’t really care. You do you, Derrick. Just leave us alone.”
Finally, she shuts the door, and he doesn’t fight her on it. Whether he’s being honest or not doesn’t really matter. When the lady says no, you take the no, and you go the fuck away.
Derrick stands there for a few minutes, probably wondering what to do next. He must’ve been expecting the rejection because he doesn’t look stunned or outraged. Not even sad. He seems oddly fine with it.
I watch him as he takes a deep breath in, then lets it out slowly and walks away. As I listen to the sound of his receding footsteps, I decide I need to make sure that asshole never steps foot on this property again.
Amaya is distancing herself from us. I’m not sure why or where it will lead, but the more I stand here in the shadow of the night, the more tempted I am to pull back and keep myself out of her sight.
Kace has a point. She needs her space. What kind of man would I be if I didn’t give her that?
The way she dealt with Derrick has me smiling, however. Short and sharp from the very beginning. She never gave him a chance to weasel himself back into the conversation. She kept her tone heavy and stern, making it clear that she wasn’t backing down.
One thing is for sure—I’m not letting him anywhere near Amaya again—not without serious consequences.
Maybe then he’ll learn.
12
Amaya
Imiss them.
It’s a heavy feeling to manage when I’ve already got so much on my plate, but I can’t fight it. I miss them. I got scared after that night at the restaurant. We gave in to a most primal urge, and I loved every moment, every millisecond of it.
I would do it all over again without hesitation. But my fear of this ill-perceived social stigma is messing with my neural pathways. I lost myself with the guys but then I pulled back because I didn’t know what else to do.
At first, I figured it would be purely physical. It certainly seemed enticing enough. But these men want more than just my body, and the fact that I want to give them more is terrifying.
I can’t stop thinking about how it could all go wrong. I don’t have the time nor the energy to invest in something that is going to bring me nothing but heartbreak. I’ve had enough of that, already.
Yet on the other hand, I’m terrified of missing out on something extraordinary because of my fears. I don’t know what to do or what the right decision is. How do I gather the courage to take that final leap and plunge into the unknown?
Kace, Finn, and Elias seem more than willing to catch me if I fall. It’s the falling part that I’m afraid of, of the pain it might cause.
Ramada keeps coming around Kace more frequently and it bothers me more than I’d like. Seeing her saunter over to his table the way she did the other day, touching his shoulder and laughing, it made me feel nauseous.
Despite my attempts to be the reasonable adult, I find myself following Ramada across the estate one evening. I’m merely trying to figure out what her endgame is, especially where Kace is concerned.
I am aware that he has been nothing but polite and courteous toward her, yet Ramada only seems more emboldened to try harder despite his veiled refusal.
I’ve got better things to do with my time, but if I don’t do this to at least try to put my mind at ease, I fear I’ll end up spiraling out of control and running away from possibly the best men I’ve ever met.
“Or maybe you’re just becoming unhinged,” I mutter to myself as I discreetly follow Ramada while she heads into the estate’s main park.
