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Fucking snap out of it, Cole.
The banging doesn’t stop.
“Calm down,” I say.
“Go pee on these,” Willa says, shoving a bag in my hands. “On all of them.”
“What?”
“Pee. On the sticks, Isla. Now.”
Eight packages of pregnancy tests? The fuck!
“Not possible.” Except a weight as heavy as a bowling ball settles in my gut.
“You don’t know that.”
“I do, actually. I’m on birth control and am religious about it.”
“Do you know how many women get pregnant every year while on birth control?”
“No,” I answer, pulling out one of the boxes.
“Somewhere between two and eight percent. That’s a lot of damned women. Now, go pee!”
“How am I supposed to supply this much urine? You’re unhinged.”
“I don’t know! Pee in a cup and we’ll drop from there, I guess? I don’t know, just do it!”
“Fine!”
“You’d probably have plenty of piss if you were eating and drinking like a living human instead of the creepy-ass zombie you’ve been the past few weeks,” she grumbles as she follows me first to the kitchen to find a cup and then to the bathroom.
“It’s just stress, I’ll get through it.”
“What if it’s not just stress though, Isla?”
What if I’m pregnant? At nineteen, with a man who lives thousands of miles away, while I’m in the middle of getting a college degree. Yeah, what if?
“I’m not going to be that statistic. There’s no way. Right?”
“You could very well be that statistic. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re a fucking mess.”
“That’s stress!”
“Stress over a dude, Isla. That’s not who you are. You’ve never taken shit from anyone, but you’re letting him destroy you. It makes sense that something inside of you is stealing your backbone to grow their own.”
Well, fuck.
When she puts it so bluntly, I can’t help but take the idea into serious consideration. I’ve never been great at keeping track of periods, mostly because I’ve always felt secure in my birth control. Grabbing my right breast, I weigh it in my hand.
Does it feel heavier? Maybe.
It is a little tender, but hormones do that at times anyway. There hasn’t been any weight gain, the opposite really. Food hasn’t settled well as of late.
All I can do now is pee in the cup and wait.
* * *
