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“Seems responsible,” he mumbles.
Zander tenses around me, ready to blow his top before I have a chance to retort. He knows my history well enough to know that suggesting I’m a shit parent stings like hell. I wasn’t always great at it, but I strive to be every day.
“Isla is the best mother I’ve ever known, if that’s what you’re fucking implying, Wylder. As for responsibility, you’re one to talk. You couldn’t even manage breaking off one relationship before you started up another. You watch what you say to her around me.” Zander moves to stand toe to toe with my ex-boyfriend, both of their chests puffing up with stupid male ego.
Fucking hockey players.
Cillian sizes my friend up, the smug grin on his face saying he knows he could take Zan if it came to that. Not that I’d let it. Zander is tougher than he looks but Cillian has both height and bulk on him. Still, I love that my friend stands up for me the way he does.
It’s more than I can say for certain others.
“It’s getting late, time for you to say goodnight to Sadie,” I say to Cillian, leaving little room for argument as I brush past him to find my daughter and Erin.
They’re arm in arm on the sofa; Sadie has pulled out the baby book my mother insisted I keep and is showing her grandmother all the photos.
“If Grams is Grams, what do I call you?”
“Should we come up with a name for me so it’s not so confusing,” Erin asks her.
“Yes, please.”
“How about Nana? That’s what I called my grandmother when I was your age.”
“Okay, Nana,” Sadie answers easily. “What do I call you?”
Cillian stops abruptly next to me when she asks him the question. Me, well, I start to tremble. Thankfully, Zan’s hand gently soothes my lower back. I’ve been telling myself for days that this, and so many other crucial moments, would be coming sooner rather than later. Nothing really prepares you for moments that could easily break your daughter’s heart. If Cillian doesn’t handle this right, I’m starting by cutting off his balls, then moving to gouging his eyes out with a rust covered spoon.
“I think that’s up to you, kiddo,” he answers.
“Mommy calls Pops daddy, so maybe that.” Her eyes are wide and worried, bringing all my fears to the forefront. Because if Cillian can’t commit to being her father, it will shatter her tiny soul.
Then I’ll be left with no other option than to chop his dick off and force feed it to him in retribution.
“That’s the best thing I’ve heard in a very long time, Sadie. I love it.”
I guess I won’t be serving life in prison, after all.
8
CILLIAN
Me:
Are you on your way?
Isla:
This was just a test to see if I unblocked you.
She’s infuriating.
Me:
I’d like my daughter with me today. I’m just checking to see if you’ll be here soon.
Isla:
We’d get there sooner if you’d stop texting me. I’m about to drive.
