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When Sadie eventually left his side so he could get in front of the cameras and press, she’d placed his cell phone into my hand. Within minutes of him mentioning his daughter on live television, a notification popped up on the screen. Since the idiot doesn’t have privacy settings, it was right there for me to see.
Trina:
She had a baby and didn’t tell you? What a cunt! I can’t wait to meet your daughter!
She followed it up with several kissy face emojis. It ruined the rest of my day for me, then it ruined my night because I was so mad at myself for letting her get to me. Again.
“She shouldn’t have called you that. It was out of line and completely uncalled for,” he says, contritely.
“Tell her that, not me. And under no circumstances does she ever get to meet Sadie. That’s one rule I will never bend on.”
“I will tell her,” he agrees with ease. “If I ever even talk to her again.”
“It’s that easy?”
“Yes, it is, Isla. Trina is in Boston, and I’ve already told you we aren’t in a relationship. She’s just a friend.”
“You can stop lying now. I already think so poorly of you that the truth won’t make a difference there. In fact, I might find it admirable,” I snark. Cillian grins, wide and bright. Even his eyes are smiling at me. “What’s funny?”
“Not funny. Refreshing,” he says. “I’ve missed how honest and blunt you always were. Besides my mom and Coach, you’re the only other person I could count on to not constantly blow smoke up my ass.”
“I’ll happily list all your misgivings any time you need to hear them,” I tell him, and his smile grows impossibly larger.
“What kind of bullshit has Trina sent you? And how does she even know your birthday or when our anniversary was?”
“Ask her.”
“I’m asking you.”
“Why, don’t you trust her to tell you the truth?”
“I do. But she isn’t here. You are, and you’re the one I want to talk to.”
“Ask her,” I repeat. For one, they aren’t things I particularly want to rehash. Also, I don’t think she’ll tell him the truth. If he even decides to ask her. Call it a test of sorts, but I want to see if he confronts her and what she says. “She was there when I told you I was pregnant, you may as well keep her in the loop now.”
“What the fuck are you even talking about? You never told me,” he says adamantly.
“I did! I video called you hours after that call to Torsten and you were in bed with her.”
“Bullshit! Who’s the liar now, Isla?”
“It’s the fucking truth. I thought maybe you were tired or something because it was late, and you weren’t making much sense, but it was because you were talking to her, not me. And she ate it up and made sure I saw her and what she was doing to you.”
“I didn’t fuck around with Trina the night you broke up with me,” he says, his brow furrowing as if he’s trying hard to recall something.
“You sure about that? Because I know what I saw, and I’ll remember it clearly until the day I fucking die!”
“Okay, calm down. We’re not getting anywhere here,” he says. He gnaws on his bottom lip with his thumb for a moment, eyes bouncing between mine. Cillian’s trying to suss out the truth, or remember things he’s forgotten, but the pieces aren’t lining up for him. “I won’t push you about Sadie just yet, if you can promise to try to accommodate me. Let me get to know her, Isla. Let me be a real daddy to her.”
Fuck, if that doesn’t just hit me straight in the uterus.
It’s what I’ve always wanted for Sadie. Cillian in her life and making her the priority she deserves to be. He seems genuine in his desire, even though my heart is screaming at me that we can’t trust this giant looking at us with a strange mix of longing and determination that still borders on anger.
Letting him spend time with her isn’t a big hurdle here. Trust is, and my lack of faith in him to be responsible with her body and soul.
“She doesn’t get to meet any of the string of women you will probably have in your life.”
“Done,” he says, again so easily it causes me to throw him a side-eye.
