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Honestly, a better question is why wouldn’t I? I’ve known Zander for years and he never showed much sign of attraction, especially not at this level.
“Why now,” I ask, directing the question to Zander.
“What could I offer you? I’m bisexual, Willa. Stubbornly so. I’ve spent a life repressing who I am, it’s not something I’m ready to make compromises on. Damian was the first person that I thought understood my hard lines there.”
“For the record, I don’t love the rules. I enjoy you enough to stick around while you work it out,” Damian says. “But I’ve been out since I was a teenager.”
“You thought I wouldn’t understand,” I ask.
“More like I would end up hurting you.”
“Because you want to have relationships with men, too,” I prompt him to continue.
“Because I want to explore that, and yeah, I thought you might not understand that need.”
My life has been privileged in many ways. This is one of those ways. Because I’ve never had to contemplate my sexuality. I like what I like, and I was never worried about anyone disapproving of it. Mom and Dad were always clear about our family being accepting.
Me with two men might not go over so well with my father, but that’s neither here nor there at this point.
“I’d never judge you for your sexuality,” I finally say. “But I need transparency and honesty. Can we all agree on that?”
“Of course, beautiful,” Damian says, and Zander nods.
“What are the rules between you?”
“No other men,” Zan says.
“No rules on women?”
“No.”
“Well, if you want me, there are no other women either. That’s definition number one.” I take another sip of my coffee, happy that it has cooled enough to drink it without burning my mouth.
“Done,” they say in unison, making me blink in surprise.
“What else,” Damian asks.
“Equality,” I say after a moment of thoughtfully worrying my bottom lip. “This sort of arrangement won’t work if we aren’t on equal footing. If anyone ever feels left out, it will ruin it. I’m not saying we need to be together for everything, but some level of balance and respect must be present.”
“Have you done this before,” Zander asks.
“Only in my dreams,” I admit. They laugh, and the mood softens. Perhaps, we can make this work without anyone getting hurt.
“I need to shower and get to the Iceplex for morning skate. Can we talk more later?”
“Yes,” I say, crawling up to the head of the bed so I can get back under the covers. I know I’m flashing them both, but it is what it is.
“Fuck, now I’m going to have to beat off while I’m in there.”
“Want an audience, big guy?”
“No, you minx,” he says, pressing a kiss to my forehead before he gets out of bed in all his naked glory. “I’ll never make it on time if you come in with me. Your dad will hammer me with drills if I’m late.”
“I think it’s a sin or something to talk about my father when you’re that nude.”
“Wouldn’t be the first thing I’ve done that will send me to hell.” The bathroom door shuts behind him, leaving me and Damian alone. He’s quiet this morning, but I’ve come to realize that’s not abnormal for him. He’s either chatty, or not, there is no in-between. There must be a reason for it that I hope one day he trusts me with.
“What’s your plan for the day, Mr. March?”
