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“Men and women,” I clarify. “But yeah.”
“It’s weird.”
“It’s not weird, Callie. There’s nothing weird about loving people. It’s just a new concept for you.”
“Does Willa know?”
“Of course, she does, Callie.” This is a conversation I should have had with her weeks ago. She shouldn’t have been blindsided by it all. “Look, Cal. Willa and I are in a relationship together, and with Damian. It seems complicated, but it’s a simple as all of us caring about each other.”
She doesn’t respond as she sits staring down at her lap. There’s no way to know what is going through her mind, and all I can do is wait her out right now. Like Vaughn said, I must give her some space to make her own opinions, her own choices, and mistakes.
Though I refuse to let her be hateful toward people who are different from her.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you were already going through so much with the move here, I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”
“No,” she says, sending me a seething glare. “You didn’t tell me because it’s shameful and you know it’s wrong.”
With that, she stalks to her room. My room. And slams the door shut behind her.
That went just fucking great.
The thought crosses my mind to go after her, force her to talk this out with me. Let me explain how I feel.
I didn’t expect her to be as easygoing about it as Willa’s mom, but I wasn’t expecting a slammed door in my face either. All I ever wanted outside of the NHL was to be accepted for who I am. Be loved for who I am. Maybe I underestimated the influence her upbringing would have on her, because I truly believed she’d be more open to understanding the life I’m trying to build here.
On the other hand, she’s not entirely wrong. I do feel ashamed. Nearly every day I think about how unfair it is that I can’t openly love the people I do. More accurately, I have to risk so much to be open about it. The kicker is I’m now back to being uncomfortable with my sexuality in my own home.
Fuck.
Two days later and it’s not much better with Callie. She’s polite enough during meals and when I ask about school. Beyond that, I get little out of her. Today, I leave for another road trip.
I miss him. I miss Willa. I miss holding them both and the laughter we always share. Nothing could make me give up Callie, she’s worth every sacrifice I make. But I didn’t expect it to be this lonely.
“Good morning,” she says, finding me in the kitchen finishing up toaster waffles. I drop them on a plate and hand it to her.
“Morning, Callie. Remember you’re at Willa’s tonight.”
“I remember,” she says after a long sigh.
“I don’t love the situation either, kiddo. But for now, it’s the best I’ve got.”
“I could go stay at a friend’s house,” she suggests.
“You could if I knew any of those families, but I don’t. And we can’t rely on strangers every time I have to leave town. This is the last road trip for the season anyway.” The very last thing I’m going to do is send Callie to stay with people I’ve never met. The best solution would be to move into a house with Damian and Willa and not have to worry about Callie every second I’m gone. She’s nowhere near ready for that. Maybe she’ll never be and will be another three years before I get the family I dream about at night. “In the off season, we’ll figure out a better living situation. I miss my bed.”
“It is a great bed,” she says, even giving me a small smile. It’s more than I’ve been getting so I’ll take it as a good sign. “Sorry you didn’t make the playoffs.”
“It’s okay. The team was plagued with injuries early on,” I say. “We’ll make it next season.”
The team made a great push, we barely missed it. The Stanley Cup is the goal every year, but it’s also nice for some of the more seasoned players to get a head start on their vacations. Everything with family is planned around the season, engagements, marriages, birthing babies. There are a lot for players to look forward to when the season ends.
For me, I have a grumpy sister to look forward to. Though, as soon as she’s done with school, I plan on taking her to Disneyland. I want to experience that first with her. Then maybe we’ll head somewhere tropical.
Hopefully she likes me again by then.
“When are you back again?”
