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Whatever it is, he enjoys the position. The control. He grabs my hair on both sides of my face and takes everything he wants. When I taste the saltiness of his pre-cum, I pull off and lick the length of him, swirling over the tip to catch every drop. Alexander watches with rapt attention. Then he plunges back in with more force, unrelenting until he’s completely spent and I’m coming in my own hand right along with him.
Might not be exactly what he had planned, but the result is the same. We shower and order room service and then settle in for the night, relaxed, lazy, and content with each other’s company.
“I heard what you did for Willa,” I say after we’ve eaten and found some mindless wilderness survival reality show on the television.
“It was past time,” he says. “It felt right.”
“It is right.” Willa shouldn’t be kept in the shadows just because Alexander’s sexuality must. Or because I must. She deserves the spotlight. She earns it by putting up with the two of us.
“Callie knows.”
“About Willa?”
“About all of us,” he clarifies. “She… doesn’t understand.”
“Understand or like?”
“Both, I guess. It’s why she’s been acting differently. Her friend found the blog post and the pieces started coming together for Callie. She’s worried it means I’m going to Hell or something.”
Well, shit. I expected her to not understand, at least right away. I should have expected religion to have some influence here, but it honestly hadn’t crossed my mind. Truthfully, I don’t know her well enough to know how much the church affects her life.
That’s a higher hurdle to clear than just not understanding something new to her. It isn’t easy to overcome years of an indoctrinated belief system.
“That’s unfortunate,” I hedge, uncertain about Alexander’s intentions moving forward.
As much as I’d hate it, I couldn’t blame him if he decides to take a step away from me even as he takes a step closer to Willa. He has a whole other human to consider in this situation. Callie’s at a tumultuous age as it is, not even considering all she’s already been through. If I had a sibling, I imagine I would do everything in my power to ease life’s turmoil for them.
In the same way I want to do that for both Alexander and Willa. If that means I have to stay away until Callie comes around or becomes an adult and moves out on her own, it’s a sacrifice I’d make for them all.
I love them, but maybe love isn’t always enough. Or maybe the timing isn’t right. We’re meant to be together, of that I’m certain. Only maybe just not quite yet.
“Yes, but I have to believe she’ll come around,” he says. “Because I’m not giving up on any of us.”
“No?”
“No. I love you, I love Willa, and I love Callie. That’s fucking that,” he says in a deep, reassuring tone. This is the Alexander I first met. The man that refused to fully suppress who he is for a league with rigid standards. His fierce determination may have dimmed for a short time, but it’s back now. While it won’t be easy for us, I have faith we’ll make it.
The next day, Alexander is busy with the team, while I stay back at the hotel working until it’s time to go to the arena for his game. He steals the show, having the best game of his career, scoring two goals and wracking up two assists. Most of the crowd around my seat are Houston fans but even some of them comment on how well he’s played tonight. He’s fast, clean, precise, and intentional.
It’s exhilarating to watch him, so bulky and large in life, but looking almost elegant and graceful on the ice. The Blades take it in a five to two win, and the loss for Houston means they are out of playoff contention.
Most of the crowd exits the arena in various forms of disappointment all while I’m riding a high on my walk back to the hotel to wait for Alexander in our room. I shower, get a few hundred more words written on my dissertation, then order some late-night room service, expecting he’ll be hungry when he finally gets back to the room.
A few hours later, everything I’d been feeling today crashes down and burns in flames.
26
Willa
The call comes in the middle of the night. My phone ringing wakes not only me but Kit and Callie as well.
“Damian? What’s wrong?”
“Alexander is at the hospital,” he rushes out.
“What happened?”
“We’re still figuring it all out,” he starts. “There was a group of drunk assholes waiting for the team to leave the arena. They jumped him and it turned ugly quickly from what Cillian and your father told me. The entire team stepped in.”
