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She shakes her head sadly at me, and I know I’m in deep trouble. Before she can open her mouth, I take her in a bruising kiss, trying to show her how much I need her. She calls my name as her climax comes, her tight channel gripping my fingers and fluttering around them with each fresh wave of pleasure.
“Oh. OH! Holy crap…” Her eyes are glassy and dazed as she looks up at me, trying to recover her senses enough to return to our conversation.
“Ethan, I don’t hate you; you’re my mate, I never could. I can’t promise I’ll be able to look at you the same way, not if you stay here. Letting her touch you...” she winces, screwing her eyes shut against the memory. “There’s only so much I can take. Imagine it was the other way around.”
I can’t. Just the thought is enough to make me incandescent with rage. If another man put his hands on her in front of me, I’d have lost my mind. She’s stronger than I am.
“If you say I have to choose, I’ll come with you, right now.”
Slipping my hand into my jacket pocket, I pull out a ring on a delicate gold chain. Sliding to my knees beside the bed, Belle has no choice but to look at me. Her eyes widen in alarm when she sees the necklace dangling in front of her eyes.
“What are you doing?”
Maybe I should be offended by the fact that my mate looks terrified at the sight of me on my knees with a ring in my hand, but I press on. “The chain was my mum’s. I want you to have it; this ring is yours when you’re ready, when this is over. I’m giving it to you now as my promise. Everything I ever do will be for us. It’s hard to see that right now, I know, Belle, but even this is for us.”
I can’t blame her if she doesn’t believe me, but it’s true. I won’t be able to enjoy our mating, our life together, with this constantly looming threat hanging over my pack. By keeping the pack safe, I keep Belle safe.
Slowly, she fingers the glistening chain, lifting it from my palm. Staring at it, she looks up at me with a soft smile, her expression a mixture of confusion and hope. She cups my face in her hand, whispering, “You need to go.” I’m completely taken aback, but she continues, “I need to think and Lucia will be looking for you.” She eyes the bulge in my pants hungrily, “There’s a shower block at the training grounds, it might be a good idea to pay them a visit before you go back inside. The cold water might help with that.” Her words are soft, but spoken with steel.
I rock back on my heels and blink, stunned, even though I shouldn’t be. Did I really expect her to ask me to stay the night?
Standing, I watch as my mate’s eyes fill with tears again and I can’t breathe knowing it’s my fault we’re here. She doesn’t move when I lean down, doesn’t push me away when I give her the chance. I kiss her forehead and breathe her in.
We’ll talk again tomorrow; if she wants me to pack my bags and leave, I will.
16
BELLE
I was so close to wrapping myself up in my mate, to not letting him go.
He’s an idiot and while he has hurt me, badly, I know now that he’s trying to do the right thing. If my brothers were under a constant threat, I’d stop at nothing to make sure they were safe. We’re pack animals after all; family is everything. The urge to protect is admirable, desirable even.
But then his blonde hair fell forward, and I caught a hint of her perfume. That was it. I couldn’t do it. I might understand his motivation, but it’s too much to ask of me, to sit back and wait for him. Any self-respecting mate should know that.
The trouble is, I can’t ask him to give up, either, to leave with me.
I vaguely hear the door bang as it closes behind him, sounding final in the quiet of the small house. A little while later, I listen to the hushed whispers of Liv and Will; having returned from dinner, they’re afraid to disturb me and they have questions about Ethan’s scent, lingering inside their home.
The sorrowful howl of a lone wolf in the middle of the night breaks my heart, and the wolf inside me howls back, recognising her mate’s suffering.
There’s just no way we can be together right now. Not like this.
Burying my head under a pillow, I have a good cry. Wallowing in my misfortune, I stare bleary-eyed at the ceiling until the darkness gives way to the weak amber glow of early morning. Repacking my bag, the door to the tiny guest room opens and Liv peers in. She watches silently as I latch Ethan’s necklace around my neck and tuck the ring inside my t-shirt.
“You’re going?” She picks my wash bag off the dresser and stuffs it into my bag, not trying to convince me to stay. Liv has known me long enough to know there’s no point.
“I have to,” I state simply and she nods, sitting on the bed and smoothing her hand over the sheets. She frowns, then pats the spot beside her. Dutifully, I sit. “I’m sorry this was such a car crash. I’ll come again, I promise, and I’ll smile at least once.”
She pulls me into her side and takes a deep breath. “Belle, I have no idea what’s going on, and frankly, I don’t want to. I trust you, and I trust Blake. If this guy is destined for you, then I trust him, too. I won’t say a word unless I’m forced to.”
Relieved, I give her a squeeze. “Thank you, but don’t get yourself into any trouble either.”
Nodding, Liv bites her bottom lip; something is weighing on her mind. Clasping her hand in mine, I wait.
“You know Will is Lucia’s driver?”
I nod, remembering when Liv first met Will with a fond smile. She was so excited, because Lucia rarely leaves the pack during the day; the flexible job meant he’d be able to mind their future children while Liv worked. Back then, I thought she was off her rocker for talking about babies two days after meeting her mate. I get it now. It’s intense.
