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After he’s let the front door close, because I’m a glutton for punishment, I move to the window and throw myself into the armchair so I can watch him for a few more moments. He disappears inside his cabin and while I expect him to emerge minutes later with his bags, it takes him far longer. When he finally reappears at the front door, I can’t fight the urge to cry any longer, letting the tears take me with big jerky sobs as he jogs down the steps, bag in hand.
His hair is freshly washed, damp against the collar of his shirt.
He changed for her. He washed all traces of my scent from his body, after he bathed me and cleaned me up.
No marks. No scent. No evidence.
No, I tell myself. Stop being paranoid. He’s your fated mate. He’s just being considerate, not going to her covered in the scent of sex. If I were her, I’d want the same courtesy. Rising, I pull the blanket around myself as I pad to the bedroom, throwing myself into our rumpled sheets, still smelling of him and us, to comfort my wolf.
I text Alpha Steel to tell him I was held up but I’ll give him an update in a couple days. I can’t work when I’m in this state. Something in my gut tells me there’s more to it, that it’s not that simple, but my emotions are going haywire and I can’t trust myself to think clearly right now. Pressing my face into the pillow he slept on, I moan in distress. My intuition is rarely wrong. I just need to put my faith in the goddess that she got this one right, and I’m not about to have my heart broken.
Ethan
Halfway from the cabins to the Anderson pack, I can’t go anything further. My wolf is howling inside my head, clawing at me, desperate to go back and erase the sadness from Belle’s eyes. The smell of her tears wrecked me. We’re not even marked and I’ve already hurt her. She said we could get through anything if I was honest; it was my chance to tell her what’s really going on. Instead, I clammed-up, refusing to tell her anything that could inadvertently interfere with my quest or drag her into this mess.
Rubbing my breastbone with the heel of my palm, I grunt. I need to get this over with quickly so I can go back to her. Once this is done, I can devote every second to our new mating. I’ll lavish affection on her until she’s sick of the sight of me. She’ll have so many orgasms she’ll forget all about the little white lie I told.
Banging my hands on the steering wheel, I curse because I know that’s a lie. My mate is fierce, and when she finds out what I’ve really been up to over the next three weeks, she’s going to be pissed as hell.
Pulling onto the road again, my mind swims with what our future could look like. Whose pack will we go to? How many kids will we have? Will they be able to kick Cooper's kid’s asses? For a while, I almost forget how fucked-up this is - until I arrive on Lucia's pack territory.
The atmosphere is immediately awful. I can feel this is a lost and unhappy pack. Lucia has her hands full trying to turn this around. When I pull up to the front of the property, I sit in the driver’s seat and ignore the packhouse. I can't force my legs to move.
"Where have you been? I was worried sick," Lucia purrs, running up to the car, a big grin on her face and a pretty pink tint to her cheeks. She beams at me, excited to see me finally here at her pack territory. Ignoring her questions, I climb out and retrieve my bag from the backseat, her happiness fading when she senses my unease. "You have your own room. I'll let you unpack and get settled before we meet later with some of the pack to discuss your role."
Relieved, that gives me a couple of hours reprieve. When I finally nod, she clasps her hands together and points, but doesn’t move to touch me. "Get something to eat and I'll see you soon."
Lucia gives me a once over, a heated look, one I would have lapped up before, and panic blooms inside me. I’ve found my mate. There's no way in hell I can touch her like that.
With a sweep of her arm, she gestures down the hall.
"Don’t go wandering until I've introduced you to the pack." Her sweet smile falls again, but she recovers quickly. "I want to announce your role and qualifications first, so nobody can complain that you’re not right for the job. Or for me."
She rests her hand on my arm and revulsion washes over me, and I swallow to quell the urge to squirm away from her. This is going to be torture.
7
ETHAN
By the time I retrieve my suitcase from the car, the one I, thankfully, never took out when I was at the cabins, and find my room, I’m shaking. My wolf is fighting constantly to seize control and run back to our mate. He thinks I’m an idiot, furious that we’ve hurt her, and I can’t argue with that.
Hours later, I’ve tried to sleep, to make up for what I missed last night while I tried to make sure my mate wouldn’t forget me. But that didn’t work. The bed already feels too big, too empty without Belle.
Pacing made me more anxious, so I tried to watch some television, but there’s no distracting myself from the feeling of wrongness twisting my gut.
Sinking down on the mattress, I stretch my hands out in front of me, clenching my fists and cursing as my skin ripples and the muscles underneath twitch. It’s only been a few hours. How on earth did I think I was going to do this? My gaze drifts around the fancy interior and the strange view out my window. Trees as far as the eye can see - but not my forest. Not my home. And my mate is out there, alone. She should be by my side. I should be by hers.
My heart pounds as self-doubt creeps in. Sweat coats my palms, and my chest feels tight. What am I doing here? Am I really risking my mating because of my wounded pride and a hunch? I haven’t been able to prove what I think is going on before now. Who’s to say I’ll be able to do it now?
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I pull it free, planning to toss it into my bag and ignore it, but the name on the screen makes me pause. It’s the only person who’s not trying to convince me this is a bad idea, that I should just go home to my pack.
“Alpha Reynolds. I’m hoping you have good news for me. I could do with some right now.” Flopping onto the luxurious bed, I hold the phone to my ear and scrub one hand down over my face. Catching a faint trace of her scent, I press my hand over my nose and inhale deeply, closing my eyes. It’s like a drug, and the hit calms my wolf immediately.
“That bad, huh?” Dean doesn’t ask me what’s going on because he’s not interested. I don’t blame him. “The thing you asked me for… it’s done. We’re not going to let anyone else get hurt. There are a few of my wolves on exchange with the Grey Ridge pack, but I have others, more subtly, keeping an eye on things.”
His words ease my earlier fears. I’m not leaving my pack exposed. This is still the right thing to do.
The image of Leah’s lifeless body lying on the grass will haunt me for the rest of my days. How can I go back to my role as beta, at which I have failed spectacularly, just watch someone else be attacked, knowing I could have done more? And there will be more attacks. While I’m gone, Dean has some wolves in place to shore up security at Grey Ridge.
