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“I don’t blame you.”
“Listen.” Reaching across the lunch table, he pressed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a supportive squeeze. “You’re not the first to have a baby off a lad in school, Aoife,” he offered. “And you sure as shit won’t be the last. Just ignore them. You’ll be old news soon enough.”
“Yeah, Podge, thanks and all,” I mumbled, feeling my cheeks burn from the intense stares I was receiving. “But somehow I doubt this is going away anytime soon.”
“Hey, Sexy Legs, I slapped the shit out of your brother just now,” Alec declared, sinking down on the table in front of us. “Hope ya don’t mind.”
My eyes widened. “You did?”
“Of course.” He winked. “Lynchy’s on his last warning, so he couldn’t do it. And I couldn’t have Brains doing my favorite girl dirty like that.”
“Where is he now?”
“Who? Brains?” Alec shrugged. “On the phone to your mammy, I suspect.”
“Aw, Al…” I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face, thrilled that little shit got put in his place. “Thanks, buddy.”
“Anytime,” he replied with a grin. “And just so you know, even with a big belly on ya, you’ll still be completely rideable.”
“Smooth, Al.” Podge chuckled. “What every girl wants to hear.”
“I call dibs on godfather,” Alec chimed in.
“You can’t call dibs on godfather, asshole.”
“I just did.”
“Well, it doesn’t count,” Podge huffed. “If anyone’s going to be godfather, it’s going to be me.”
“Nope, see, Sexy Legs is going to give Devil Tits the nod as godmother, which gives Lynchy free rein over who his spawn’s godfather will be.”
“Yeah, because referencing our best friend’s unborn child as spawn is something a godfather would say.”
“Listen, Ginger Pubes, it’s happening, so back the fuck off and don’t even think about trying to steal my thunder on this.”
Podge shrugged. “Yeah, well, I’d rather have ginger pubes than a crab-infested cock.”
Alec gasped. “I don’t have crabs.”
“Anymore.”
“I never had crabs.” He narrowed his eyes. “I was scratching because I shaved my balls and the itch was fucking horrendous!”
I laughed. “You shaved your balls, Al?”
“Oh yeah, Al here is big on the manscaping,” Podge chimed in, as the bell sounded around us, signaling the end of small break.
“What can I say?” Alec jumped up and offered me a lopsided grin. “I’m a gentleman.”
“Do you want to walk with us, Aoife?” Podge asked, rising to his feet. “We’re all in Irish with Dineen next.”
“I’ll catch up with you guys,” I said, waving them both off. “I need to pee.”
“Keep that head up, Sexy Legs,” Alec called over his shoulder as he sauntered out of the canteen with Podge. “And keep those legs closed until my godchild is fully cooked.”
“Thanks, Al.” I sighed heavily, ignoring the gawks and stares I was receiving. “Thanks a lot, buddy.”
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