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Black gunk.
Green bile.
Clumps of blood.
Jesus Christ, I was hemorrhaging poison.
The phone call I’d been awarded I had naively used on a woman who wouldn’t even pick up the phone.
My mother didn’t care.
She had never cared.
Christ, I had a better chance of the old man showing up to get me.
You already know this, asshole, so stop caring about her!
Disgusted with myself for being so damn weak, I refused the chance to make another call, because in all honesty, I didn’t have anyone to call. The beef I had with Darren meant that I would gladly serve an eighteen-month sentence for assault and battery before crawling on my knees to him for help. Because fuck Darren.
The only person I could call, the only person who hadn’t completely given up on me, was the one person I needed to protect. The person I cared about most in the world.
I knew Molloy would answer. I knew she would come for me. She would fight in my corner, regardless of what it cost her.
That was the whole fucking problem.
I had to stop this. I had to stop putting her at risk.
“On your feet, Lynch,” a male Garda ordered as he unbolted and opened the metal door containing me. “You have court in twenty minutes.”
Peachy.
Just fucking peachy.
Not bothering to argue, I complied with his orders and remained still as a statue as I was recuffed. Yeah, this wasn’t going to end well for me.
Maybe this is a good thing, I thought to myself as I was led out back to a waiting prison van. Maybe the judge will decide to remand me, and I’ll be transferred to Cork Prison. At least then, Molloy and the baby will be safe from me.
99
Going Stir-Crazy
AOIFE
Tears.
I couldn’t stop them from falling.
It was ridiculous because I’d always thought of myself as a strong girl, but lately, all I seemed to do was cry. And lie.
Oh yeah, I seemed to be doing a whole heap of lying these days.
When I’d arrived at the maternity hospital earlier, I’d lied through my teeth and told the admissions nurse in the A&E that a car had backed into mine and I needed to get checked out.
I mean, seriously?
Too worked up to think straight, I’d sat in the waiting room all alone bawling my eyes out while I waited to be called in for an ultrasound. The one that assured me what Joey had: Everything was fine with the baby.
Knowing that I couldn’t go home in my current state, I somehow made it to Casey’s flat feeling overwhelmed with regret and disappointment in myself. The minute she opened the flat door, I barreled into my best friend’s arms, crying hard and ugly. “They arrested him.”
