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“There’s no decision to make,” he blew my mind by saying, green eyes blazing with heat. “You already know it’s you.”
His response caused a shiver of delight to roll through my body, but my heart was still wary. “No, I don’t,” I choked out, heart racing violently. Because if I did, I wouldn’t be standing here, putting my heart and pride on the line. “I don’t know, Joey.”
“Then let me be very clear about it,” he replied, reaching up to cup the side of my face. “It’s you, Molloy.” He tipped my chin up, forcing me to look at him. “It’s you.”
“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”
“It’s you,” he repeated gruffly, fingers tightening on my waist. “I pick you. Every single time.”
“I mean it,” I warned, shaking my head. “I’m a big girl and I knew what I was getting myself into when I kissed you that day outside your house. You have this warped notion that you need to shield me from your life when nothing about your life has come as a surprise to me. I walked into this relationship with my eyes wide open, and guess what, my eyes are still open, and I still want in.”
“I still want in, too,” he replied gruffly. “I just…” He blew out a ragged breath. “You mean the world to me,” he confessed, voice pained. “I know I have a fucked-up way of expressing myself, and I don’t show it like I should. But it’s true. I don’t want to do anything to hurt you, yet most of the time, that’s exactly what I end up doing.”
His words, his touch, his scent… It was all too much in the moment. “Joe.”
“I’ll love you the right way this time,” he whispered, and his breath fanned my cheek. “If you’ll show me how.”
My hand shot out of its own accord, knotting in the front of his shirt and pulling him closer when I needed to push him away. “Joe.”
“What I did at Christmas? How far I went? It scared the shit out of me, and all I could think about was if I didn’t get you away from me, I would end up destroying my world, because that’s what you are to me, Aoife. You’re my whole goddamn world wrapped up in one girl. So, yeah, maybe I’ve gone about it entirely the wrong way, but all I’ve ever tried to do is protect you.”
“See, that’s a huge part of our problem right there, Joe, because I’ve never needed your protection,” I croaked out. “I’m not your mother or your sister. I’m not another girl who needs something from you. I’m the girl who wholeheartedly wants you. I’m the girl who wholeheartedly loves you. The hurler. The mechanic. The boy. The protector. The asshole. The lover. The addict.” Sniffling, I added, “All of your versions. All of your shapes and colors. I accept them all. So, I don’t care how fucked up in the head you get, or how bad of an idea you decide you are for me. If you can’t be with me, warts and all, then walk away now, because I won’t go through this again with you.”
“I hear you, Molloy,” he replied, tone strained, as he rested both hands on my waist.
“Do you?” I implored him with my eyes to be honest. “Do you really hear me, Joe?”
He nodded slowly. “I hear you, baby.”
“Good.” Trembling, I clenched my eyes shut, losing the battle with both my emotions and my pride as I dropped my forehead to rest against his chest. “Because you can’t take it back this time, Joe. Do you hear me? You don’t get to walk away again for any other reason than you don’t want to be with me and trust that I will do the same.”
“Okay.” His hands slid from my waist to my shoulders, and then moved to cup my face, hands tangling in my hair, evoking a shiver of pleasure from my body that only he could. “I can do that.”
Illicit sensations and feelings roared to the surface when he stroked his nose against mine, nuzzling me with the kind of affection I knew he held only for me. It was empowering and terrifying both in one breath. “I love you.”
He said it so easily now that it sounded foreign to my ears.
A shaky breath escaped my parted lips.
“I love you,” he repeated slowly, leaning in to give me an innocent, sweet, soul-destroying kiss.
“No more walls, Joe.” My arms came around his waist, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt as I clung to him like a prayer. “No more secrets and cover-ups, okay? We’re way past those. Because I’ve never been your enemy,” I squeezed out. “I’ve always been your teammate.”
He stilled for a moment before releasing a heavy sigh. “Then in the spirit of full disclosure, I should probably tell you that I didn’t just come here because I was invited.”
“Okay…” I narrowed my eyes, instantly suspicious. “What did you do?”
Shaking his head, he caught ahold of my hand and led me outside to a quiet part of the garden. “Don’t flip out.”
I folded my arms across my chest and glared up at him. “Don’t give me a reason to flip out and I won’t.”
He scrunched his nose up before muttering, “I sold Biggs an eighth.”
“Of joy?”
He squirmed in discomfort. “Of weed.”
“Jesus, Joey!”
