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“Because I don’t remember her hugging me.”
“That’s a heartbreaking statement to make, Joey,” she surmised, scribbling away on her clipboard.
“She was good to Shannon,” I offered, feeling that familiar urge to defend her, even from beyond the grave. “The boys, too.”
“But not you.”
I shrugged. “We had a different kind of relationship.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning I don’t think she looked on me like a son,” I admitted gruffly. “More like a teammate.”
“A teammate.”
I nodded.
The doctor was quiet for a long moment before changing it up by saying, “Tell me about the first time you had sex.”
“Why?” I glared at her. “Are you looking for tips?”
“How old were you?”
“I don’t know. I was in third year at the time.” Frowning, I scratched my jaw and thought back. “I think it was a couple of months before my fifteenth birthday.”
“You think?”
I shrugged in response.
“That’s very young.”
Again, I shrugged.
“How did it make you feel?”
“Not good.”
“Because you weren’t ready?”
“Because I wasn’t in control.”
Her brow furrowed. “Tell me about the girl.”
“She was just a girl from school.” Leaning back in my chair, I pushed my hair off my face, and tried to focus on the memory. “We’d been scoring on and off—”
“Scoring?” she interjected. “I’m sorry, Joey, but I’m not familiar with the slang.”
“Kissing,” I explained. “It means kissing.” I paused for a moment before adding, “Shifting means kissing, too.”
“So, you and this girl were shifting.”
I nodded. “If we were both at the same party or disco, then nine times out of ten, we’d end up scoring with each other.”
“Did you have feelings for this girl?”
“No,” I admitted truthfully. “I mean, I didn’t dislike her or anything like that. She was a nice girl. We were friendly enough, but I didn’t have any real feelings for her. Not like…” I shook my head again. “She was just…there.”
“Aoife,” she filled in knowingly. “Not like the feelings you had for Aoife?”
