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“I don’t know.” I shrugged and readjusted the knot holding my cardigan to my waist. “Caoimhe said that you lots of need time and that we’re to leave you alone.”
“No, no, don’t go,” he blurted out, snatching up my hand in his. “Okay?”
“I wasn’t going anywhere, silly.” I chuckled, staring down at how his hand made my hand look super tiny. “I would never leave you, Gerard.”
“That’s what my dad said.” He sucked in a shaky breath and clenched his eyes shut before whispering, “So just…please don’t go, okay?”
“I’ll never go, Gerard,” I replied, shifting closer so that our shoulders were touching. That was what happened when I was with Gerard. I wanted my hand to touch his hand all the time. Or my shoulder. Or my toes. I never wanted him to step back or leave. I just wanted him to stay right beside me. Even when he was super sad. “I’ll never leave you.”
“I mean it,” he urged, turning to look at me now. “I can’t lose another person I love.”
“You love me?”
He nodded sadly as another tear trickled down his check. “I love you most of all.”
I beamed up at him. “Even more than Hugh?”
He scrunched his nose up in disgust. “I don’t love Hugh.”
“Even more than Patrick?”
“I don’t love Feely, either.”
“You don’t?”
“Just you.”
“You know, Gerard, if you ever get super sad, I can be your sister, too. Hugh won’t mind sharing.”
“You can’t be my sister, Claire.”
“Why not?”
“Because you can’t have the hots for your sister.”
“You’ve got the hots for me?” My tummy flipped like a pancake again. “Not Lizzie? Because I heard Hugh say that she’s super pretty once.”
“Lizzie? Ugh. No way,” he grumbled, lip curling up in disapproval. “I don’t see Lizzie.”
“You don’t?”
“I don’t see anyone.” His lips tipped up in the smallest of smiles before he added, “Except for you.”
“Gerard, sweetheart, it’s time to go home,” a familiar voice called out, and I felt him stiffen beside me when both of our families walked toward us. “We have mourners coming to the house.”
“Five more minutes,” he bit out, breathing hard and fast now. “Please.”
“We have to go now, pet,” his mammy pushed.
“Please,” he repeated, glaring at the footpath. “Five minutes.”
“Gerard…”
“He can come home with us, Sadhbh,” I offered, wrapping my arm around his shoulders as best as I could. It wasn’t easy when he was a lot bigger than me, but I tried. “We have room in the car.”
“Not today, Claire pet,” she replied, sniffling. “Gerard has to be with his family right now.”
“They are not my family,” he choked out, chest heaving. “They’re my family,” he added, pointing in the opposite direction, to where his daddy and sister were buried. “So just leave me alone, okay?”
