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Would she want to?
Would I?
I had wanted her since I was twelve years old, and now that I finally had her, I quickly realized that I would never stop wanting her. I used to feel like an insect trapped in the unyielding web of lies my parents had spun around my life, but I now knew that the web my parents spun never held a flame to the one Molloy had weaved around my heart. I was also achingly aware of the fact that there was a baby coming early in the summer.
Another Shannon.
Another Tadhg.
Another Ollie.
Another Sean.
And as much as I despised myself for it, I knew deep down that I couldn’t do it again. I couldn’t raise another one of his children. I wanted a life of my own. More than that, I wanted a life with the girl in my bed.
She joked about rings, and weddings, and babies, but I didn’t know if she was serious—or if it was something I was capable of giving her. I didn’t want marriage or babies, but the thought of her having those things with someone who wasn’t me made me want to die. The thought of her, years into the future, with another man’s ring on her finger or, worse, another man’s child in her stomach, made me want to burst into flames.
Deep down inside, I knew that it all came down to what I could and couldn’t live with. So, could I live with marriage and babies if that was what her future consisted of? All I knew was that I couldn’t live without her. It wasn’t an option.
Jesus, I was so fucking snared by this girl.
When the song ended, and Mazzy Star’s “Fade Into You” drifted from my stereo, I felt her stir against my chest.
“Mmm. I love this song.” Snuggling in close, she draped an arm around my stomach and pressed a kiss to my bare skin. “I love you.”
Wondering how the fuck I had managed to get this girl in the first place, let alone keep her around, I tilted my head to study her. Naked as the day she was born, and with an aura of contentment floating from her in waves, Molloy didn’t move to cover herself up. Confident in her skin, and in my feelings for her, she arched her back like a kitten stretching and let out a sexy, moaning yawn.
Her blond hair was splayed over our bodies, and I twisted a strand around my finger aimlessly as I pondered my next move. She made it for me when she declared, “My stomach is growling like crazy.”
“Is that your way of telling me to get my ass out of bed and go to the shop for you?”
“Yep,” she agreed, nuzzling my chest with her cheek. “You know what I would love, Joe?”
“What would you love, Molloy?”
“A Loop the Loop ice pop and a packet of salt-and-vinegar crisps.”
I reached for my phone and unlocked the screen. “It’s half ten.”
“Centra on Main Street is open until eleven.”
“And there’s nothing I can tempt you with from the kitchen?”
“Does the kitchen have Loop the Loop ice pops and salt-and-vinegar crisps?”
I sighed in resignation. “Fine, let me up.”
“You’re the best.” Grinning victoriously, she rolled onto her back and sighed in contentment. “You can take my car.”
“You can bet your ass I’m taking your car,” I replied, pulling on my clothes and reaching for her keys. “Is there anything else the queen would like?”
“No, I think that’s all, my noble steed,” she shot back, without missing a beat.
“I’m not a horse, Molloy.”
“Maybe not in real life, but metaphorically speaking, you’re an absolute stallion in the sheets.”
“Fuck off.”
