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“But you are now.” She offered me a supportive smile. “With Joey.”
I snorted. “No.”
Mam cocked a brow. “Do you think that I came down in the last shower? It’s not your father that you’re talking to. Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes, young lady. I know well what happens when that boy sleeps over.”
“Oh my god.”
“If you’re sexually active with young Joey, then there’s no need to hide it from me,” she continued. “You’ve been together for a while. I’m not mad, love. I’m just concerned.”
“And so what if I am having sex with him?” I choked out, blushing. “I’m not fourteen anymore, Mam. I’m eighteen, remember?”
“That’s fine,” she replied, voice strained. “Thank you for telling me.”
“You’re…welcome?”
“Now, are you being safe?”
“I’m on the pill,” I repeated slowly. “How much safer can I get?”
“Condoms.”
I scrunched my nose up in awkward discomfort.
Mam’s eyes widened. “Aoife.”
“What?” I threw my hands up. “We’re being safe.”
“So, you’ve been taking your pill at the same time every day?” she pressed, tone laced with concern. “Religiously?”
I balked. “Why are you even asking me all of this?”
“Because you’re moody, you’re spending all of your time holed up in your room, you’re eating like a horse, and you look like you’re seconds away from bursting into tears at any given minute.”
“And that makes me pregnant?” I demanded, hands on my hips. “What’s next? Are you going to tell me that I’ve put on weight, too?”
“Aoife.”
“No, Mam. Jesus, I’m not pregnant.” Shaking my head, I stalked over to the fridge and swung it open. “I had a period before Christmas.”
“You did?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, Mam.” I rolled my eyes. “I specifically remember because I’d been out shopping with Casey that week and didn’t buy this really cute white skirt from The Modern to wear out for Katie’s birthday—even though it was a total bargain at a tenner—because I knew I couldn’t risk wearing it.”
Relief flooded my mother’s eyes. “Oh, thank god for that.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, by the way. I really appreciate how much faith you have in my ability to not ruin my life.” I waved a hand around aimlessly. “I hope you plan on giving Kev the same supportive pep-talk, because he’s a moody bastard who rarely leaves his room, either.”
“Don’t be daft.” Mam batted the air like it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. “Your brother can’t bring a grandchild home to me in his belly.”
“And you think that Joey and I are thick enough to?”
“I think that you’ve both been swept up in the throes of first love.” Both her eyes and her voice softened when she added, “And I think that a lot of mistakes can be made when emotion takes the driving seat over logic.”
“Well, that shows what you know,” I replied, slamming the fridge closed. “Because Joey and I aren’t even together right now.”
