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“I mean I remove her from my mind,” he replied breezily. “Meaning that I forget all about her. Where she lives. What she looks like. Where she works. Her old man’s garage. All of it. Erased.”
Bullshit.
The very fact that he was saying this meant that he was using her against me. He was letting me know, in no uncertain terms, that he could and would go after my girlfriend if I didn’t play by his rules.
The only problem I had was that I didn’t know what game he was playing. “What do you want?”
“Nothing.”
More bullshit.
I arched a brow.
“Fine,” he conceded with a chuckle. “I want you to come and see me again.”
In other words, pick back up where I left off.
“No.” Struggling to contain my emotions, I shook my head. “I’m done with that shit.”
“Are you?” he asked, tone coaxing. “Or is your doll doing the thinking for you?”
Shoulders slumping, I let my head fall forward, desperately trying to keep my head and not fuck this up. The maze I had managed to lose myself in was virtually impossible to navigate my way out of. Every time I tried to escape, I got dragged back down another dead-end path.
“That supply issue I was having is all cleared up now.” Reaching into his pocket, he withdrew a baggie and thrust it into my hands. “Your usual.”
“Shane.” With my chest heaving, I stared down at the bag of oxy in my hand. “I can’t.”
“Tell you what,” he said, rising to his feet. “This one’s on me. If I don’t hear from you again, then no hard feelings.”
He walked away before I could say another word, leaving me alone with my self-control hanging by a tether.
36
Revelations and Rugby Boys
AOIFE
Neither of Joey’s parents had returned to the house by the following night. With Joey all alone to bear the huge weight of responsibility they had unceremoniously dropped on his shoulders, I had tried to help as he once again parented his siblings with the proficiency a grown adult would envy.
Going from hauling them around to their extracurricular activities, to cooking and cleaning up after them, and then bath time to bedtime… It was exhausting watching him go through the motions.
No wonder he would rather throw himself into traffic than have a child, I thought. He already has four.
When Joey eventually did sit down, a little after eleven, looking bone-weary and close to his breaking point, the very last thing I wanted to do was give him that push.
Slumped at the kitchen table, he let his head rest in his hands and exhaled a heavy sigh. “Pretty shit date night, huh, Molloy?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Walking over to where he was sitting, I set two mugs of coffee down and wrapped my arms around him from behind. “I wouldn’t say it was that terrible,” I replied, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck. “I mean, the company’s pretty epic.”
Grunting in response, he reached a hand up and gave mine a squeeze.
“So.” Taking the seat next to his, I reached for my mug and blew over the rim before taking a sip. “What’s the plan?”
“I don’t have one,” he admitted honestly, reaching for his mug. “I have no idea what I’m doing, or how long I’ll have to do it for.”
I thought about what he said for a long time before saying, “I think you’re quite possibly the most incredible human being I’ve ever known.”
He shook his head and chuckled. “Fuck off.”
