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Drunk as I was, I knew I needed to remember it. I needed to hear it again. The words were shooting straight through me. I felt them hard and deep, relating something fierce to every line of every verse.
Unsurprisingly—but still completely messed up—it was Shannon’s face that flittered through my mind as the lyrics forced their way into my sluggish brain.
Shannon with the lonesome eyes.
A lifetime of striving to be the best. The fear of not being good enough. And the constant, sinking feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach.
Dragging my phone out of my jeans pocket, I tapped out a quick text, hoping I was typing the name of the song properly before exiting my messages, leaving the text in my drafts.
With my phone in my hands, I pondered what I would do if I had Shannon’s phone number.
It was good that I didn’t have it. Never in my life had I been partial to drunk dialing, but right now I had a burning urge to dial her absent number.
Would she pick up the phone? If she did, what would I say? Would she talk to me?
Fuck, I wanted to hear her voice on the other side of that line.
This girl is different, my stupid fucking brain chanted. This one is for keeps.
I wanted to be back in my room, with my phone pressed to my ear, listening to her stumble over her words as she told me every one of her thoughts. I wanted to be back here with her, watching her blush and smile and peek up at me through those long thick lashes. I wanted to be sitting in that dark cinema with her, not paying an ounce of attention to the film showing, while I stole secret glances at her and burned in heat when I found her eyes on me.
I just wanted her.
You could love this girl your whole life, the crazy thought persisted inside my brain over and over, if you just let yourself.
A sharp elbow to my ribs had my head snapping up.
“The fuck?” I turned my glare on Hughie, annoyed to be distracted from my happy place. “What was that in aid of?”
“We have company,” he muttered, inclining his head.
“Oh god, here we go,” Katie mumbled under her breath.
Bleary-eyed, I followed his move, my gaze landing on Cormac Ryan just as he rounded our table, face flushed and lipstick smeared across his mouth.
Hot on his heels was a smug-looking Bella.
“Alright, lads?” Cormac acknowledged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “How’s it going?”
Leaning back in my seat, I gave them both an impassive look.
Hughie gave Cormac a stiff nod but made no move to enter into small talk with him.
Katie didn’t even look at him.
Gibsie was looking at him, a murderous expression replacing his usual lopsided grin.
“Johnny.” Cormac’s wary gaze landed on me. “Can I have a word, lad?”
I took my time looking him up and down before settling on, “If that’s what you want to talk to me about”—I gestured to Bella, who was standing behind him with a smirk on her face—“then there’s no need. Your actions spoke clearly for you tonight.”
“Listen, Johnny, I don’t want any trouble,” Cormac replied, running a frustrated hand through his black hair. “All I wanted to do was clear the air and make sure there’s no hard feelings between us.” Shrugging, he added, “We have to play together and I don’t want any bad blood.”
“The window of time to talk to me about this was months ago,” I replied in a flat tone. “And considering we were playing together when you decided to fuck me over, I find that hard to believe.”
“It wasn’t like that, lad,” Cormac countered, flustered. “I thought you two were off at the time.”
“I honestly don’t care,” I told him. “As far as I’m concerned, she’s your problem now.”
