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“Alright, did you make sweet love to her?” he taunted. “In the car park? Or the toilets? Or that sweet spot in the back of the lounge?”
“You are a gobshite,” I growled. “A complete and utter gobshite.”
“Oh, my Jesus!” Gibsie cringed and slapped a hand across his mouth. “Oh no.” He groaned. “It wouldn’t work, would it?”
“My dick works, Gibs!” I snapped. “I get hard, asshole. It just hurts when I—”
“When you what?” he asked, eyes wide.
“I can’t finish,” I muttered.
“You can’t come?” he choked out. “Like at all?”
“I mean, I suppose I could if I tried.” I sighed dejectedly. “But the last time I tried, it was so painful that I puked my guts up and almost passed out.”
“Jesus. When was the last time you tried?”
“Saint Stephen’s night.”
“Holy shit,” Gibsie gasped. “Johnny, that was months ago. You need to come, lad.”
“Don’t you fucking think I know that?” I bit out. “It’s not like I’m enjoying this, Gibs.”
“That’s unnatural.”
“Yeah, Gibs, it’s my dick. I’m well aware how abnormal it is.”
“No wonder you’re limping,” he muttered. “Your balls are so full of spunk they’re weighing you down.”
“Not fucking funny, Gibs.”
“Oh, Jesus. What if they sewed you back together wrong?” he hissed, eyes bulging. “Fuck, lad, what if they snipped a sperm cord when they were messing around near your ball sac?”
“A sperm cord?” I gaped at him. “The fuck kind of drugs are you taking?”
“I read up on that procedure, you know,” he stated, looking horrified. “So many things can go wrong—”
“No.” I shook my head, burying my terror. “They can’t.”
“Yeah, lad,” he choked out. “They really fucking can. They cut you so close to your—”
“Can you stop!” I barked, shuddering now. “Jesus Christ, I can’t hear this.”
“I’m sorry.” Smothering a grimace, he waved a hand at me and said, “Finish telling me about what happened with Shannon.”
“I didn’t touch her.” Shifting uncomfortably, I muttered, “But I wanted to.” I dropped my head in my hands and groaned. “After Biddies, I knew I needed to drop her home, but I couldn’t, Gibs. I fucking couldn’t. So I took her to the bleeding cinema instead. I just…needed more time with her, you know? Like, it wasn’t enough. I needed more…”
“More?” He cocked a brow. “More of what, Johnny?”
“More of her,” I replied glumly. “It’s all more when it comes to her.” I shook my head and sighed heavily. “Jesus, I want her so fucking bad I can’t think straight, Gibs.”
“Balls,” Gibsie mused.
“And I beat the living shit out of some prick from her old school at the bar,” I admitted.
“You fucking idiot,” Gibsie snapped. “Did anyone see?”
“Liam,” I muttered, tugging on my hair. “I lost it, lad. They said something about her, and I lost complete and utter control of my senses.”
