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Johnny shook his head and turned his back to me again.
“Don’t apologize to me for seeing you,” he groaned, dropping his head in his hands. “Fuck!”
My heart was racing so hard in my chest in this moment that I found myself breathing faster, exhaling in short, puffy breaths.
What was I supposed to do?
Run? Leave? Hide? Throw myself at him?
I didn’t know. I had no idea what to do. I only knew that my body was rooted to his mattress, my eyes glued to his muscular back.
“I’m going to take you home now,” Johnny finally stated quietly, head still in his hands.
“Yeah, okay,” I whispered as the sound of my pulse hammered in my ears.
“That’s what I’m going to do,” he added, though I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or himself. “I’ll take you home,” he repeated but made no move to stand up.
Several seconds passed where he remained completely motionless.
Unable to bear the tension building inside of his bedroom, I reached out and touched his shoulder blade. “Johnny?”
A small tremor rolled through his huge frame. And then he turned around to face me.
“I can’t be alone with you like this,” he whispered, eyes locked on mine. “I…” He exhaled a ragged breath. “Not here…not when you look like that.”
His eyes were heated and full of uncertainty and roaming wildly over my body. His chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace, mirroring my own.
I looked into his eyes, feeling my heart squeeze so tight it was hard to breathe. In one stare, I felt like I had collided with him. It was instant and shocking.
My feelings exploded inside of me, absorbing the boy and all he was like a sponge that was desperate for water.
I was desperate for him.
All of him. Every piece and part.
Raging hormones, encouraged by my frazzled emotions, overrode my common sense right then, causing me to do something completely out of character.
Releasing an unsteady breath, I reached up, grabbed Johnny’s neck, and pulled his face down to mine.
And then I kissed him.
I had no clue what to do next, my bravery deserting me in my moment of need, as I knelt on his bed and held his face in my hands.
Johnny’s eyes were wide open and locked on mine, clearly stunned, as I pressed my lips to his.
But he wasn’t kissing me back.
In fact, I was fairly sure he wasn’t breathing.
My actions had turned him to stone in my hands.
My eyes were wide and bulging in my head as I broke the kiss and stared in horror right back at him.
“I’m so sorry,” I blurted out, mortified.
“It’s okay,” he told me, breathing hard.
“No.” I shook my head furiously. “No, it’s not okay.”
