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With self-control I didn’t know I possessed, I climbed off her bed and stood up. Keeping my back to Shannon, I walked over to her window and pretended to stare out, while I discreetly rearranged the huge fucking problem in my pants.
I knew I was probably freaking Shannon out by just standing here like this, but I couldn’t walk until I had calmed down. I was hurt and horny. It was a terrible combination.
Inhaling several calming breaths, I clenched my eyes shut and strived for control, and thought of every unsexy thing imaginable, ranging from my dead grandmother, God bless her soul, to Gibsie in drag.
By the time Shannon spoke again, I had managed to settle myself.
“Johnny?” she said in a small voice from her perch on the bed. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” I replied, tone thick and husky, confident that I wouldn’t traumatize her when I turned around. “It’s all good. I’m uh, just…I’m going to go home now.”
“Okay.” She nodded shyly and climbed off the bed. “I’ll walk you out.”
I kept a wide berth of her body as I trailed after her, knowing that if I didn’t, there was a good chance I would take her back in that bedroom and mess up beyond repair. Like every time I walked away from this girl, the closer I got to leaving, the more depressed I felt.
“So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” Shannon said when I stepped outside.
“Yeah.” Shoving my hand into my pocket, I pulled out my car keys. “You definitely will.”
“Thanks again for today.”
“Thanks for showing me your room,” I replied, cringing internally at the stupid fucking comment.
“Oh, no problem. You can see it anytime,” Shannon replied, smiling.
I smirked at her verbal blunder.
“Oh god.” She slapped a hand over her mouth, eyes bulging. “I didn’t—”
“Relax.” I chuckled. “I know what you meant.”
I stepped forward then, because I was a masochistic bastard with a penchant for torturing myself, and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Bye, Shannon.”
“Bye, Johnny,” she whispered, shivering on the doorstep.
I turned around and walked straight to my car, not daring to look back at her.
Masochistic or not, if I turned back and looked at those midnight blue eyes again, I was going to drown in them.
52Rude Awakening
SHANNON
“What are you doing up?” Dad barked when I walked into the living room later that night to get my phone, which I had foolishly forgotten on the couch when I was doing an emergency cleanup after Johnny left.
“I left my phone down here,” I quickly explained. I’d been so distracted by Johnny that I had to get all my chores done in record time.
“Then get it and go,” Dad ordered. “United are playing.”
It wasn’t like me to leave stuff lying around the place, but my head was in the clouds. Cloud Johnny, to be precise.
I knew I had played a dangerous game of Russian roulette by taking him up to my bedroom this afternoon. If my father had come home, he would have killed me.
The problem was, if the opportunity presented itself, I knew I would do it again.
Having him in my space like that, even just for a little while, was wonderful. It was personal. And I felt safe. Like nothing could touch me when he was close.
In a messed-up way, I think I did it on purpose? Like I half hoped my father would come home just so he could see the huge boy who I knew wouldn’t let him hurt me.
