AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Claire.” I gaped at her in horror. “You can’t possibly compare those two movies.” Narrowing my eyes, I added, “And I do a wonderful Morgan Freeman impression.”
“Yeah,” she snorted. “Wonderfully bad.”
“Ugh!” I sucked in a sharp breath. “You said you loved my Morgan Freeman impression.”
“Yeah, well, I lied.” She cackled, reaching across the console to poke my stomach. “You get a big fat F.”
“F for fantastic?”
“F for bad.”
“Shouldn’t I get a B for bad?”
“Only in your world, Gerard.” She laughed. “Of course, I might be open to improving your grade if you give me what I want.”
“Oh, Teacher,” I purred, tone playful now that the mood had significantly lightened between us. “Tell me how.”
“An afternoon snuggling on the couch, stuffing our faces.” Batting her big brown eyes up at me, she smiled angelically and added, “With the kittens on our laps, and Johnny and Baby on the flat screen.”
“Jesus.” I shook my head in resignation. “Okay, fine, fine! But this is the last time, Claire.”
“Yay!” she cheered gleefully, clapping her hands together. “See? I knew you’d come around to my way of thinking.”
“Yeah,” I huffed. “Like I have much of a choice.”
“Oh, stop it,” she teased, leaning across the seat to press a kiss to my cheek. “You know you love me.”
Yeah, and I had a feeling the whole world knew it.
_______________
“Yeah, so this isn’t going to work for me.” With my hands on my hips, I stared dispassionately at my reflection in the mirror. I’d watched the rom-coms, ate the popcorn, and basically did everything she told me to all evening, but I had to draw the line somewhere, dammit, and I had feeling dressing me up might be it. “I can pull off many things in life, Claire-Bear, but PVC leather clearly isn’t one of them.”
“Don’t be silly, Gerard,” Claire replied from her perch on her bedroom carpet. With a sewing needle pursed between her lips, she tugged on the waistband of my pants, trying and failing to close the damn button. “You look great.”
“Great? Look at me, babe!” I demanded, gesturing to the horrendous outfit she had somehow managed to sew me into. “I look like the love child of Jon Bon Jovi and the Michelin Man!”
“Honestly, Gerard, you look great,” she continued to coax, setting aside her needle and thread so that she could use both hands to wrestle me into my pants. “Super sexy.”
“Yeah, fucking right,” I huffed. “You can see the stem of my cock, Claire!” Eyes bulging, I pointed to the very obvious mishap in her design. “I know you can’t see the full shaft, but you can see my pubes and that’s not supposed to happen, right?”
“No, it’s not supposed to happen,” Claire agreed with a bite to her tone as she continued to wrestle with the button on my pants. “But I’m trying to fix it, so quit being a baby and suck in your belly, dammit!”
“Do you want me to die?”
“I want you to suck in your waist so I can tie this bloody button!”
Releasing a furious growl, I begrudgingly obliged and sucked in my breath. Again.
“Dammit, it won’t close,” she cried out in frustration.
“I know,” I shouted back. “Because I have a cock and balls that you clearly didn’t plan for when you designed these cockless Ken pants!”
“Ew, Gerard, don’t use the word ‘cock.’”
“Is ‘dick’ better?”
“Ew no, that’s our son’s name. Say ‘willy.’”
