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“Good.” His visibly sagged in relief. “At least that.”
“And second,” I continued, feeling pissed. “I never once forced her to do anything, if that’s what you’re getting at.” Panic clawed at my gut as I glared at my best friend. “I would never force anyone!”
“I’m not talking about her giving consent, Gibs,” Johnny argued, dragging a hand through his dark in obvious frustration. “I’m talking about you, lad.”
I stared in confusion, trying and failing to absorb the meaning behind his words. “What?”
“Sex, Gibs,” Johnny groaned, looking comically distressed. “You know if she fucked you back then, it’s classed as statutory rape.”
“What in the…” I shook my head and pressed a fist to my mouth, trying my hardest to find the words to deal with my best friend’s latest theory of madness. Dee was exactly what I needed in a time when I didn’t know what I needed, but there was no point in trying to explain that to Johnny. Because in all honesty, how could I expect him to understand when I didn’t understand it myself? “No. Nope. No. I cannot deal with your overthinking—not to mention hypocritical—brain this early on a Monday morning.”
“Gibs…”
“How many older women did you fuck when you weren’t supposed to?” I demanded. “Before you decided to hang up your boots and throw your cards in with little Shannon.”
“Too many,” he wholeheartedly admitted. “Too goddamn many, and that’s what I’m trying to say here, Gibs—”
“Well, that’s one more than me!” Throwing my hands up in defeat, I shook my head and fought the urge to both laugh and scream. “Because I never fucked her, Johnny!” Huffing out a breath, I begrudgingly added, “I just canoodled her.”
“And canoodling in your worlds consists of?”
“What does it mean in your world?”
“Humor me, Gibs.”
Everything for her and nothing for me. I folded my arms across my chest and shrugged. “Listen, it was oral, okay, just a little oral and heavy petting. Fucking sue me for taking the chance of a lifetime.”
“You swear nothing else happened?”
“Yes.”
“And you swear to me that it will never happen again?”
“Yes, Johnny, I swear.”
My best friend exhaled an audible breath. “I know I probably sound like an awful hypocrite to you, given my previous behavior, but I worry about you, Gibs.” His shoulders sagged in defeat, and he dropped his head in his hands. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, and when I saw her looking at you like that, it suddenly clicked into place for me.”
“No need to worry about me, Johnny lad,” I tried to appease. “I’m always okay.”
“I can’t bleeding help it,” he admitted with a rueful smile. “Despite my best efforts, I’ve grown regrettably attached to you.” Smirking, he added, “And all of your sixteen other personalities.”
“Aw, shucks.” I grinned back at him. “Is this your way of telling me you love me, Cap?”
“Whatever floats your boat, Gibs.”
28
Lunchtime Propositions
CLAIRE
Lizzie’s eavesdropping skills were put to the test at big break when I was abruptly stopped in the school corridor on my way to the lunch hall. “Claire, can I have a word?” Jamie asked, surprising me by stepping in front of me midrun and causing me to crash into his chest with a loud oof. “Jesus, sorry about that,” he grunted, hooking an arm around my waist when I staggered backwards from the force with which we collided. “Are you alright?”
“Yep, yep, all good,” I replied with a nervous cackle, quickly steadying myself before stepping out of his hold. “I was just racing to make sure all the chili wasn’t taken by the rugby team.” Blowing a rogue curl out of my face, I smiled up at him and asked, “What’s up?” even though I knew full well what was up.
“Oh shit, if that’s the case, do you want to talk as we walk?” he offered, gesturing toward the lunch hall. “I don’t want you to lose out on your lunch.”
“Thanks,” I replied with a smile, falling into step beside him, all while trying my best not to be weird. God only knew why but I had the strongest urge to make farm animal noises in this moment. Probably because I was epically nervous and had no clue how to navigate these unknown waters.
