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Hello, Darkness, My Old Friend
CLAIRE
By the time school ended, my argument with Lizzie had festered and stewed inside of me to the point where I was feeling terrible about the whole thing. I hated fighting with her, and lately that’s all we seemed to be doing. I wasn’t a naturally argumentative person, and while Lizzie could fight with a pillowcase, she never used to project her fury on me.
All of that was changing, and I could feel the shift.
I didn’t like it.
Not one bit.
It almost felt like we were traveling down a broken track line with only one destination in sight.
Destruction.
Every day, we seemed to wallpaper over one crack in our friendship only to end up exposing another.
The worst part of it all was the fact that she continued to shut me out, making it impossible to help. I knew she was confiding in Shannon—well, as much as Lizzie confided in anyone, and it hurt me to know that I was on the outside of her inner circle. It hurt because I was trying to do the right thing by two people I loved and was being castigated for it.
I had the same helpless feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had last year with Shannon. Just like back then, I could sense the trouble. I could feel it in my bones, but instead of jumping into action, I froze.
I was still freezing.
Making the conscious decision to not let another one of my friends down, I snuck off from Tommen as soon as the last bell of the day signaled, making the two-mile walk to a street I rarely visited anymore. I chose to walk to the Young’s house because asking Gerard to drive me over just seemed wrong, given all that had happened between their families.
Knowing that Lizzie was with Shannon at the manor meant that this was my best opportunity to…well, to basically betray her. She’d hate me for it, of course she would, but my need to be liked wasn’t a good enough reason to not intervene in this instance.
This is bad.
This is a mistake.
Turn back.
Oh god, what was I doing?
I had hockey after school on Wednesdays.
I loved hockey.
I didn’t skip.
But this was more important.
She was more important to me.
When I rounded the familiar stone-pillared entrance that surrounded the Youngs’ impressive property, I felt a pang of sadness hit me square in the chest. I didn’t enjoy coming here anymore, not since Caoimhe passed away.
The house was sad, the people residing here reminded me a lot like ghosts, and I wasn’t nearly masochistic enough to spend any deal of time here.
Knocking on the door, I waited with bated breath for someone to answer it.
When the door finally swung inward, and I was greeted by Lizzie’s mam, Catherine, I felt my heart crack in my chest. She looked so weathered, like the last few years had aged her rapidly.
“Hello, Claire.” She offered me a small smile that didn’t meet the haunted look in her eyes. “Lizzie’s not home from school yet.”
“Oh, yeah, I know, Mrs. Young,” I replied, offering her a bright smile, while my palms sweated profusely. “Liz is at the Kavanaghs’ house with Shan.” Clearing my throat, I wiped my hands against the fabric of my skirt. “I was actually hoping to see you.”
Surprise filled her blue eyes. “Me?”
