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Hugh and Patrick were drinking, Pierce and Lizzie were fighting, Katie and Aoife were dancing, Johnny and Shannon were sucking face, and Joey was out front trying to sober Gerard up, which left me in prime position for the title hostess with the mostest.
Honestly, I was the only one of my friends helping by handing out drinks and cleaning up rubbish. I knew I didn’t have to, but I felt bad for Mam, who had put on such an impressive spread.
Dad had made a rare appearance at the party tonight and had miraculously decided to stay. I wasn’t sure who was more surprised by this—Mam, me, or Hugh—because it certainly wasn’t a common occurrence. I suppose it wasn’t every day your firstborn came of age. I was glad for Mam that Dad had decided to make an effort. He even shaved, something he was known to go months without doing. They were sitting out back, sharing a bottle of wine, hence my stepping up to host in her stead.
The DJ was doing such a good job entertaining the guests by blasting Kaiser Chiefs’ “I Predict A Riot” that I honestly didn’t hear the ruckus coming from the front hall. It was the guests at the party, who started dropping like flies from my line of sight, that alerted me to trouble. The sound of something crashing against the wall, loud enough to be heard over the music, had me dropping my bin bag and bolting into the front hall.
Pushing through the huge crowd that had formed in the hallway, I battled my way to the front door, only to bite back a groan in dismay when my eyes took in the carnage unfolding in my driveway.
Harley Quinn had the Joker pinned to the side of my brother’s parked car to stop him from fighting, while Juliet wept into her hands and Romeo tried to console her. On the other side of my brother’s car, Gomez Addams was dipping Vivian Ward, having valiantly shielded her from a rogue beer bottle, while Edward Lewis straddled a dark-cloaked stranger on the front lawn. To top it all off, Morticia Addams had decided this was her ample opportunity to throttle Danny Zuko, while Uncle Fester was looking on gormlessly.
“Omigod, guys!” I shouted, running headfirst into the madness, because, of course, every alcohol-induced uprising needed a referee in the form of Sandra Dee.
It would have been hilarious if these people weren’t my people.
“Who the fuck do you think you are coming on my property?” my brother was roaring, and the homicidal tone in his voice had me veering toward him. Biggest problem first.
“The Gardaí are on the way,” Mr. Murphy from two doors down shouted. “They’ll bring the paddy wagon and sort ye little toe rags out.”
“Good,” Hugh roared, fists still flying as he wrestled with the stranger on our lawn. “Tell them to bring more transport. Because if they put me in the same paddy wagon as a rapist, I’ll kill him!”
Rapist?
Oh no.
Oh no, no, no, no…
“Hugh!” Sadhbh Allen came barreling across the street with Keith in tow. “Get off him this instant!”
“Hugh, no!” Katie cried out, covering her face.
“Don’t touch him.” Lizzie was quick to jump to my brother’s defense when Keith caught ahold of Hugh and dragged him off his son. Too quick. “Get your fucking hands off him!” Not hesitating for one moment, she threw herself at Gerard’s stepfather, clawing and scratching and slapping at every exposed piece of flesh she could reach. “Let him go!”
Now that he was free and back on his feet, Mark charged my brother, knocking all three of them onto the driveway, Lizzie included.
The minute Mark landed on Lizzie, she started to scream, and it was the worst, scariest, most feral noise I’d ever heard.
“Get the fuck off her,” Gerard roared, momentarily calling a truce with his longtime nemesis as he rushed to her aid.
Refusing the hand Gerard had extended to her, Lizzie scrambled out from beneath the men on her hands and knees, shaking and crying uncontrollably.
“Shh, Liz,” Shannon tried to console as she dropped to her knees and threw her arms around our friend. “Shh, Liz, just breathe, okay? It’s okay. You’re right here with me.”
“Jesus Christ.” Quickly unbuttoning his jacket, Patrick moved for the girls, not stopping until he was crouched down in front of them with his jacket draped over Lizzie’s trembling shoulders.
“See what you did?” Hugh roared, drawing my attention back to where Johnny was standing firmly between both parties, with Mark and Keith on one side, and my brother on the other. Standing off to the side, with her hand covering her mouth, was Sadhbh, while Gerard was nowhere to be found.
“What the hell is going on out here?” Mam and Dad both demanded, arriving on the scene just as I was about to go look for him.
“Oh, thank god.” Sadhbh sounded like she was close to tears when she saw my mother. “Do something, Sinead, will you?”
Mam, the levelheaded woman that she was, took in the scene around her before honing in on her co-culprit son. “Get into the house, Hugh,” she ordered in a tone that left no room for arguing. “Right now.”
“But…”
“You heard your mother!” That was Dad, and holy crap did he sound mad.
Hugh ran a hand through his hair in clear frustration and opened his mouth to say something, before wisely snapping it shut. Chest heaving, he stormed past our parents and into the house without giving the Allen family a backwards glance.
