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“Big dick,” Aoife explained, and then, waggling her brows, she used her hands to illustrate in detail what I presumed was the length of her boyfriend’s willy, which sort of resembled that of a giant cucumber and mildly terrified me.
“Oh my god.” My eyes widened in horror. “He could touch your appendix with that thing.”
“I know!” Aoife nodded gleefully, looking like the cat that caught the cream. “I’m a lucky girl.”
“And now I’m going to go cry,” Shannon groaned, hurrying off with her hands over her ears.
“Come to Momma, pretty girl,” Aoife coaxed, gesturing for me to come closer. “Let me tell you how to seduce a man.”
_______________
Armed with a world of general knowledge of the male appendage, courtesy of Aoife Molloy, and the dress of my dreams, courtesy of Edel Kavanagh, I practically glided on air through the doors of Tommen the following morning.
It was still snowing outside, but it wasn’t nearly heavy enough to garner another optional snow day. Not that I minded either way. I was happy at school or at home. Besides, we only had today and tomorrow left and then we were free for two whole weeks.
“Morning, family,” I called out in a lyrical voice when I pirouetted into the sixth-year common room, stopping under a rogue piece of hanging mistletoe to smack a loud kiss to Patrick’s cheek.
“Morning,” everyone chorused back at me.
“What was that for, Baby Biggs?” He laughed, wiping my lip gloss from his cheek.
“Check where you’re standing, pretty boy.”
As soon as Patrick looked up and noticed the mistletoe, he took three safe steps to the left—and out of danger. “Thanks for the heads-up.” Pulling on the sleeve of his jumper, he shifted around in discomfort. “Those two girls from your year have been following me around all week with the stuff.”
“Helen and Shelley?” I laughed. “Aw, see, Pa, I tried to warn you about the trail of girls following after you.”
“Hmm,” was all he said in response.
“How’s my second favorite mam and dad?” I cooed when I reached Joey and Aoife, who were eating toast in the kitchen area. “I would say my first, but clearly that title goes to my own mam and dad.”
“Clearly,” Joey drawled, looking like he didn’t quite know what to make of my Christmas cheer. “You know, you’d make a killing as one of Santa’s elves,” he surprised me by saying. “Or at kids’ birthday parties.”
“She really would, right?” Aoife laughed. “Slap a princess costume on her, give her some face paints for the kids, and she could easily make 200 euro an appearance.”
“I could?” Excitement bubbled up inside of me at the thought, and I bounced from foot to foot. “Really?”
“Oh, yeah.” Nodding, Joey turned his attention back to his girlfriend. “She would make a killing.”
“Oh my god.” My eyes widened. “I’m going to be rich!”
“You’re already rich,” they said in unison before Aoife turned her attention to the quiet redhead sitting alone on the couch. “Hey, pretty girl! Did you get your dress sorted for the ball tomorrow night?”
Katie’s face flamed with heat from the compliment. “Uh, yeah, eventually.”
“Yeah?” Interest piqued, Aoife strolled over to the couches and sank down beside Katie. “Is it the green one you showed me in the picture?”
The door flew open then and Gerard stalked in grumbling about show-offs and passports, followed by a delighted-looking Shannon, who had a pair of mouse ears perched on her head. “I’m going to France!” she practically screamed, and then she barreled toward me waving around a pair of tickets. “For three nights, Claire!”
“Omigod,” I screamed, joining her in the bouncing as I studied the tickets in her hands. “Whoa, you’re not just going to France, Shan,” I squealed with excitement. “You’re going to Paris!”
“That’s still France,” Lizzie said in a lifeless tone, shoving past me on her way to the kitchen area. “Read a fucking map sometime.”
Choosing to ignore her, I smiled brighter for Shannon’s sake and focused my attention on the mouse ears perched on her ears. “That must mean you’re going to the happiest place on earth?”
Beaming with delight, Shannon nodded eagerly. “I’ve never been on an airplane before.”
“Don’t get the hump, Gibs,” Johnny said when he strode into the room a moment later. “It’s my girlfriend’s Christmas present, lad. I couldn’t exactly bring you along, could I?”
