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“And you said yes?” I gaped at him in horror. “Are you mental?”
“Yes, I agreed to go with her, and no, I’m not mental,” he replied calmly. “And no, it’s not up for discussion.”
“Fair enough.” Shrugging, I downed another decent dollop of tequila before muttering, “It’s your funeral, lad.”
73
Cheat Sheets and Confessions
CLAIRE
“You’re peeing again?”
“I can’t help it, Shan. I have a super-sensitive bladder,” I called back. “I’ve been like this since forever. Ask Hugh. He’ll tell you. I used to wet the bed constantly when I was little.”
“Too much information, Claire.” Shannon laughed from the other side of the cubicle door. “Some things are best left unsaid.”
“No, God, no!” I wailed when I pulled down my underwear and was greeted by an unwelcome visitor. “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Balling my hand into a fist, I shook it at the ceiling above my head. “You are two days early, you wicked, wicked torturer!”
“Oh my god, who?” Shannon called back. “What’s wrong?”
“Mother Nature!”
“What about her?”
“She’s here, dammit!”
“Do you want a tampon?”
“Ew, no, I don’t put things in my tree.”
“Tree?”
“Oops. Forgot I wasn’t talking to Gerard. Hey, don’t tell him I’m on my period, okay? He faints at the sight of blood, and I swear if he even thinks about it too much, he gets queasy.”
“What a baby.”
“I know.” Reaching for my handbag, I quickly unzipped it and started to root inside. “I know I have a pad in here somewhere. I always take one with me, no matter what.”
“Really?” Shannon asked. “You take one everywhere?”
“Mm-hmm. Everywhere,” I called back. “I never leave the house without one after what happened to you at school last year.”
“Oh god,” Shannon groaned. “Don’t remind me.”
“Found it!” Grinning victoriously, I quickly handled my business before rejoining Shannon at the sink. “Quick, check the back of my dress.”
“You’re all clear,” my bestie assured me, taking her time to inspect the back of my dress. “Close call.”
“Tell me about it.” Breathing a sigh of relief, I washed and dried my hands before inspecting my makeup. “Hey, Shan? You got any lipstick with you?”
“Sorry, I didn’t bring any makeup with me.”
“Hang on,” I mumbled more to myself than her, as I placed my bag on the sink and rummaged inside. “I think I have a lip gloss in here.”
“What do you have in there?” Shannon teased. “The kitchen sink?”
“A lady should always be prepared for any scenario,” I joked, fingers landing on something light and papery. “Hmm.”
