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Older.
Jaded.
Awake.
I knew we had a long way to go, and Gerard was only starting his healing journey, but as long as we stuck together, I knew we would make it.
2006 would be our year, I decided.
No more walls.
No more secrets.
Whatever came our way, we would face it together.
We would be alright.
“It’s going to be bad in there,” Gerard dragged me from my thoughts by saying. Parking up in his familiar spot, he killed the engine and jacked the hand brake before turning to face me. “With Lizzie.”
Yeah, I already knew that.
The dynamics of our entire friendship circle had been fractured, and while some things had changed for the better, namely mine and Gerard’s relationship, a whole heap more had changed for the worse.
Going backwards wasn’t an option for any of us. Straight ahead was the only direction available.
Lines had been drawn in the sand, sides had been taken, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I was standing on the precipice of both greatness and pain. Nothing was going to be the same this year. But we had each other. And right now, that was all we needed.
“I know that you’re in a really bad position,” my boyfriend continued to say, his cheeks reddening as he spoke. “But I just need you to know that I’m not expecting you to take sides, okay?” Expelling a pained breath, he reached for my hand and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. “You can be both.”
“Both?”
Nodding slowly, he pressed another kiss to my knuckles. “You can be her friend and still have me.” Reaching across the console, he tucked a rogue curl that had escaped my ponytail behind my ear. “It doesn’t have to be one or the other.”
“Actually, it does,” I heard myself tell him.
Gerard’s brows furrowed. “I’m not following.”
“I said it does matter, Gerard,” I explained, curling a hand around his neck to pull his face to mine “Because I’ve learned a lot about myself this past year. About who I am, and who I love, and who I want to be. And I’m not afraid anymore to stand up for myself, or for what I believe in, and especially who I believe in,” I admitted. “And it’s you, Gerard. All paths lead to you.” I shrugged helplessly. “So, if I have to step on a few toes along the way, then so be it. Because from here on out, we’re a team. And if the whole world tries to take you on, then they have to take me on, too.” Smiling, I pressed another kiss to his lips, before saying, “You come first, Gerard.”
“I do?”
The uncertain vulnerability in his voice caused a surge of protectiveness to grow inside of my heart, and I pulled him closer, having made my choice. “You do.”
“I won’t mess this up, Claire,” he vowed hoarsely, taking my hand in his. “But I’m not going to tell you. I’m going to show you.”
“Wow.” I beamed at him. “You actually listen to me, don’t you?”
“Every word, Claire-Bear,” Gerard replied with a wink. “Every word.”
“Get a bleeding room,” a familiar voice called out moments before the bonnet of Gerard’s car was drummed on. “You’re on my time now, Gibs.”
Repressing a groan, Gerard dropped his head on my shoulder and sighed. “I told you that I’ve quit the team, Cap.”
“And I told you that I don’t accept resignations.” The driver’s door was yanked open. “Now, kiss your girlfriend goodbye, tell her you’ll see her at lunch, same as always, and get your hole in that changing room.” Reaching into the car, Johnny unfastened Gerard’s seat belt and hauled him out of the car. “Because we have a Schoolboys’ Shield to win, and I have no intentions of letting Royce take the win this year.”
“Well, aren’t you the biggest brand of hypocrite known to mankind,” Gerard grumbled as he wrestled with his best friend outside the car. “Hey, don’t fucking pinch me, Jonathan.”
“Then don’t bleeding scrawl me, Gerard.”
