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“Thank you. But I just want to forget about him. He doesn’t deserve my attention.”
“He doesn’t,” I say viciously.
“What about you?” she asks. “Any horrible exes in your past?”
I freeze. “Other than Annalise?”
“Was she horrible?” Callie looks up at me from under her lashes as she leans over her other leg.
“Certifiably awful,” I confirm. I should tell Callie about the photos that were leaked, the texts, but I can’t. I can’t. I’ve never felt weaker than I did after Annalise. “She’s the reason I don’t date.”
“Ever?”
I shrug, but my shoulders are tight. “Ever. I do one night stands here and there, but mostly, I work.” The words sound pathetic as I say them, and I wait for her to judge me, to tell me to get out more, like Lane and Miles always do.
“Me too.” She gives me a half smile. “I’m mostly working. Especially after Eric. I told myself I’d focus more on the things that mattered to me. Like the paper.”
Fuck. I hate that it’s the paper. I hate that this woman who sees me so clearly is the last person I can have. Because I want her. The need for her makes me dizzy. Just one more week. One more time in bed with her, then I’ll… What? Cut her out of my life? Fuck.
“You understand me,” I say, my voice gravel.
“Yeah, well, you do work a lot.” Her mouth tips up. “More than I thought possible.”
“I need to be on top. It’s the only way.”
“But you are now.” Her brow wrinkles in confusion.
I slant her a look. “I’m what? At the top? No, I’m not.”
“Looks that way to me,” she says lightly.
I frown. “I guess I could see why you think that. Miles is certainly satisfied with what we have, and Theo, well, I’m not sure he’s ever been that focused on business, but no. There are so many competitors. Dylan is personal, but we have whole swathes of the market that are waiting for us. There’s always more to do.” I shake my head. There’s a pit in my stomach every time I think about how much more we have to achieve. A pit that threatens to swallow me on lonely nights, but also a fire that keeps me going.
“Why?” she asks. “I mean other than the obvious. Money, power, etcetera. You’re swimming in those. So why?”
I shove off the floor to grab a foam roller from the corner. I can’t be still for this.
“It’s the only way to protect my family. You understand that, I think.” When I finally look at her, her face is soft and open. “I brought Dylan to their doorstep. It was my fault.” My voice comes out choked, and fuck, it’s like this every time I think of the past.
My hand clenches on the foam roller so hard that the nubs dig painfully into my skin.
“It wasn’t your fault,” she says quietly, but forcefully. “You couldn’t have known what he would do.”
“I brought him close to them. I was the one who told him my sister’s secret. I betrayed her trust. I ignored all the signs that he wasn’t the person I became friends with. I ignored the jealousy. It’s my fault that he had the ammunition he had to hurt my family. He’ll never have that ammunition again. No one will. Look at me now. No one would dare touch what’s mine. The only way I can protect them is by being the best. The biggest business, the most ruthless competitor, the richest man.” My chest is tight at the memories.
She shakes her head. “You’re punishing yourself.”
“Maybe I am.” I sigh. “I can be hard, Cal. Intense. I think you know that.” My throat works while I stare down at her, those lake blue eyes of hers seeing everything.
“Oh, I know.” Her lips curve. “You’re a right asshole when you want to be.”
A smile tugs at my mouth. “You’ve seen me at my worst.”
“And I still like you.” She bites her lip. Warmth blooms in my chest at her admission, and the soft way she’s looking at me, even as my rational brain tells her to stop. I’m not made for liking. I’m going to break her heart if this continues.
“Do you want a secret of mine?” I want her to smile again.
“Oh yes.” Those blue eyes sparkle with anticipation.
