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“You did?”
“Don’t sound so shocked.” He gives me a look as we make our way up the path and into the park. “I can still fight.”
“I know. I just—I’m happy for you.”
“Yeah,” he says, but his eyes are shadowed. I know what he’s thinking, because it’s what I’m thinking too. Happiness is hollow without him. And the thought of him moving on and doing all these things without me, I fucking hate it. I want to be there to watch him overcome his fears.
“I’d give it all up, you know, if you wanted me to,” he says quietly.
“What?” I stop on the path.
He turns, mouth pressed in a line, hands shoved in his pockets. “The job. I’d give it up. If you want someone more…regular. I don’t have to keep working. I could be a boxing instructor, and you could do whatever you wanted. You could run a paper from our apartment instead of the Kings Lane offices.”
Our apartment.
“Jonah, I don’t know what to say—”
“It’s okay.” He shrugs, but his shoulders are tight. “Don’t say anything.” He keeps walking, head down and hands tucked away, like he’s scared he’ll grab me if he lets himself relax.
“I don’t want you to quit for me.” I blow out a breath. “I’m just scared. Scared I’ll lose myself to a relationship again. I put myself second when Eric and I were together.”
“How?” He sounds murderous.
“Let me count the ways.” I grimace. “He hated my favorite restaurant, so we never went. I missed deadlines for the paper because I was out at events with him and he didn’t want to leave. I pretended to like everything he liked. I lost myself somewhere along the way. When things ended, I realized just how much.”
Jonah rounds on me, and I stop just before walking into his chest. His expression is earnest, those dark eyes intent on mine. “I will never let you lose yourself. Even if we’re not together. I promise you, Callie.”
Even if we’re not together. The thought is a weight on my chest. I believe him. All the times he owned his faults. Every time he apologized. Every time he quietly cared for me, brought me supplies, asked me what I wanted for dinner, helped me to feel like the most beautiful woman in the room.
How could anyone make you believe that you deserve anything less than their full attention?
“Have you decided which direction to take your business?” he asks a few minutes later.
“I’m not sure.” I sigh. “The New York Star made a name for itself, but now that it’s gone, I wonder if letting it go is the best thing after all.”
Jonah tenses. “I hate that I played a part in that. Whatever you need to start again, I’ll provide.”
I roll my lips between my teeth as I consider. “I talked to my dad,” I finally say. “He’s okay with me doing it the way I want. I guess the issue is, I don’t know what I want. In some ways, the paper was a weight around my neck, and I might hate the way it ended, but maybe ending wasn’t bad. So now, I’m just… at loose ends.”
“The media division is waiting for you,” he responds. “If you want it. You can publish whatever you want. You can name the paper whatever you want. You can buy up local papers that are failing and revitalize them.” He gives me a small smile. “I know you have ideas. I know you want to make a difference. I believe in you.”
Tendrils of warmth spread through my chest. I want that. I want to make a bigger impact on the world. I want to use my expertise to help struggling local papers.
Suddenly, it feels inevitable that I’ll fall for Jonah again, and instead of feeling terrifying, it’s starting to feel right.
“Thank you, Jonah.”
He smiles at me, a little hopeful, a little sad. “I can take you back now.”
I’m not ready. “Just a little longer,” I say.
* * *
I get an email that night from an unknown sender.
Tell your boyfriend to stop coming after us, or I’ll ruin you.
I jerk like I’ve been slapped when I open the attachment. It’s a photo of what looks like a legal document. A motion maybe? We’re listed as a party. My blood rushes in my ears when I see who the plaintiff is. Green Media.
