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“What happened, Sophie? What did he do to make you this upset? When I asked him, he said there was some misunderstanding and that he made a mistake.”
I scoff at that explanation while pacing around my room. What’s complicated about him putting his dick in another woman? Multiple times, including the night when he should’ve been home with me. Yes, it was a mistake, one I’ll never forgive him for. And who knows, maybe my dad wouldn’t think it’s a big deal that my husband has been cheating on me with a whore.
“Did he hurt you?”
I nod since that’s a given.
“Physically?”
“No,” I quickly answer before he puts a bullet in his head as soon as he steps off the elevator. Yes, Lochlan has physically hurt me before, but I got turned on by it, so I don’t think that counts.
“So, he hurt you emotionally?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve never seen you this upset before. Not even when you were about five or six years old, and Cass broke your favorite tennis racquet.”
Shrugging, I say, “I knew you would buy me a new one, a better one to make up for her being a bitch.”
“And of course, I did. But I can’t buy you a new and improved version of Lochlan, unfortunately.” When he goes silent, I look over to find his brow furrowed and frown deepening. “If you’re this upset, it makes me think that maybe you’ve already grown to care about him.”
Another scoff is my response, but it’s not very convincing.
“You don’t love him, do you, Soph?” he asks, making it sound as if that would be the worst thing ever.
“No,” I blurt out before shaking my head and continuing my pacing, but it sounds like a lie, even to me. Picking up a tennis ball from my desk, one of the few things left in my old bedroom, I dig my nails into the familiar green felt. “I don’t know. I wish I had never met him! If Madison hadn’t run away, then I wouldn’t have had to go through all this!”
“Ah,” my dad says. “If you hadn’t met him, then he wouldn’t have had the power to hurt you.” A few silent moments, later, he asks, “So he has some redeeming qualities? I wasn’t entirely sure, but I hoped so.”
“I don’t want to talk about him.” I throw the ball against the door, letting it bounce back at me before flopping on the bed, squeezing a pillow to my chest. I definitely don’t want to talk about any of Lochlan’s “redeeming qualities” with my father since the ones I think of most often are the ones that involve his nakedness and sex.
He also could be kind of sweet, like when he built the tennis court and introduced me to Julia Townsend. Those were a surprise, but both things ultimately turned to shit too. He only did those things to get something in return.
“Well, you don’t have to talk to him when he’s here, and you don’t have to leave with him. Just let him say what he wants to say, then he’s gone as soon as his time is up, okay? I’ll drag his sorry ass out of here myself if necessary.”
I nod since I don’t seem to have any other option.
My father stands up from the bed and straightens his suit jacket sleeves as he starts for the door. “Did you, ah, take the tests?”
“Yes. They were negative.”
“Good. That’s good, right?” he asks.
“I’ll know for sure soon, hopefully,” I say, meaning when my period comes. If it comes. Which is what I want. Isn’t it?
“Right,” he agrees sounding relieved. “Vanessa asked if you feel like seeing her.”
“Sure,” I agree.
“I’ll send her in.”
A moment later, as if she was waiting outside the door, my stepmother comes in.
“Hey,” Vanessa says softly before approaching the bed where I’m curled on my side again. “I know you probably didn’t want to talk to your father about what happened between you and Lochlan, but do you want to talk about it with me?”
“No. Not really. It hurts too much,” I tell her honestly.
“I understand.” She rubs her palm over my upper arm in comfort, like my mother would’ve done if she hadn’t died having me. If she had lived, would her and my father have ended up married? Would she have been a good mother to Cass and Madison too? I have no clue because I don’t know anything about her except that she was a masseuse who apparently fooled around with my father until she ended up pregnant.
