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It’s not that I’m suicidal or anything. I don’t wish for pain or death. I only want to do more than merely survive. I want to be brave, to be dangled over a cliff or the roof of the penthouse by my ankles and trust that the person holding me could easily drop me, but probably won’t. The fear of not knowing for certain what the future holds would make my heart race out of my chest and my lower belly to tighten…
Maybe there’s something wrong with me if I want to go looking for trouble when everything in my life is perfect and safe.
Well, everything except for the fact that I grew up without a mother because she died from complications of bringing me into the world.
My father raised me and my sisters on his own. There was never a motherly figure around, not until a few months ago, when he met Vanessa and married her.
I guess I could ask my stepmother if my cravings for danger are unusual. She probably wouldn’t tell my father. Not unless she thought I needed immediate psychiatric care…
I probably ought to just keep those thoughts to myself in case I am a freak.
When my phone buzzes across my desk just before dinner, I pick it up to read the text from my father telling me to come to his office ASAP. I momentarily panic, wondering if he’s figured out a way to spy on my innermost thoughts. If anyone could do it, it would be the ruthless mafia king I call Daddy.
But no, our father probably hasn’t tapped into any psychic abilities. And since I don’t keep a diary, he will never know about the messed-up thoughts in my head.
I still hurry down the two flights of stairs to the first floor, knowing better than to keep him waiting. Cass and I nearly run into each other, heading in opposite directions in the hallway. My sister and I don’t look anything alike since we had different mothers. Her long hair is the color of blood, her eyes a light green, and skin ivory, while I have our father’s jet-black hair and deep blue eyes. I thought since we look so similar, I would be his favorite, but he doesn’t seem to give any of us much notice. Well, at least he didn’t before Madison ran away. Now she’s all he thinks about.
“What’s going on? What does Daddy want?” I ask her in a whisper since she was obviously storming out of our father’s office.
“Take a guess,” she huffs.
“He found Madison?”
She rolls her eyes. “No, the little bitch is yet to be found, which means someone has to step in and play bride to the Irish gangster.” Reaching a hand up to pat the top of my head like I’m a dog, she says, “I flat out refused to be stuck with him, so congrats. Pack your bags, little sis. You’re getting hitched.”
I shake my head, sending my long black ponytail flying in denial of her claim while shoving her hand off my head.
Marry some man I’ve never met? “No. That’s…no.” This better be Cass’s idea of a prank. Our father is a ruthless mobster, sure, but he wouldn’t make me marry anyone, especially right now. I just turned eighteen!
“Good luck,” Cass says with a sarcastic smile. She forcefully bumps her shoulder into mine while walking away.
When the office door opens again a few moments later, I’m still standing in the same spot, frozen with fear. My father’s six feet plus frame is in his usual business suit, and he fills the doorframe. His stern face is blank, other than a tick in his cheek.
“Hey, baby girl. Come on in so we can talk.”
Following him into his two-story office and library, I blurt out, “Cass just…I don’t really have to marry someone, do I?”
I stare at my father as he comes to a stop beside Vanessa who is so petite, she looks like a child next to him. Despite her small stature, the sweet-looking blonde has never been cowed by Daddy like everyone else in the world. I envy her for her courage to go toe-to-toe with him and never back down.
Glancing between them both, I wait for them to assure me it isn’t true, that Cass is just messing with me.
Finally, Vanessa glares up at my dad’s face and says, “Of course, he’s not going to make you marry anyone. He’s just going to ask nicely. Right, Dante?”
“Right,” he agrees. He slips his hands into his front pants pockets as if this is a casual discussion about what we should have for dessert tonight instead of the rest of my life. “You have every right to refuse…”
“Good.” I sigh in relief, and my father instantly winces.
“If you refuse, Lochlan could retaliate by starting shit that gets people killed.”
“Dante!” Vanessa exclaims, slapping a small palm on his chest. “You can’t guilt her into marrying him!”
“I’m being honest with her, butterfly. Yes, it’s her decision, just like it was going to be Madison’s. But Sophie should know the consequences of refusing him. Not to mention that since you don’t want Cole to be part of this world, someone has to take over for me when I die. As much as I hate it, he may be the best choice.”
Whoa, what? He wanted Vanessa’s son to take over his drug trafficking empire? I can’t say I’m surprised that Vanessa objected to that idea. She’s spent her entire life trying to keep Cole away from her mafia family.
“Wait, so who will take over?” I ask.
“Lochlan Dunne. I haven’t made a final decision yet. He’s still on thin fucking ice, but he’ll keep pushing until I agree. He knows my business is fucked if I don’t get some dirt on some feds.”
