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“He’s actually good,” Sophie replies with a grin in my direction. “And he beat me fair and square because I was…exhausted.”
Exhausted? That’s not how I remember it. I think she wanted to say distracted but didn’t want to admit her attraction to me.
She obviously wants me; I want her; so why the hell aren’t we fucking?
28
Sophie
Being back at Lochlan’s house isn’t as scary as I thought it would be. My father may not approve, but I feel safe with him here. Mostly. Yes, an enemy may have caught him off-guard once, but I don’t think Lochlan, or his security team, will let it happen again.
I got dressed to go play on the newly repaired tennis court, but couldn’t find the courage to walk out to it yet. My excuse was that it was too close to dinner so I may as well stay inside.
Seeing my father in the dining room was a good surprise. Although, I am thankful that he left just before dessert. Not that I didn’t want him around longer. We’re having cheesecake, which makes me think dirty thoughts. Again. I can barely go a day without my husband reminding me of that dinner with my family where he had his hand up my skirt.
I eat every last crumb of my slice while Lochlan watches me silently, hungrily the entire time, as if he didn’t have a piece of his own cheesecake sitting right in front of him.
Is that how I look at him when he’s shirtless on the tennis court? I still can’t believe we have that in common, or how much I want him despite the fact that I’m unable to trust him, to believe he hasn’t been with anyone else in months. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I have an ugly philandering husband who is easy to resist instead of a gorgeous one? No, I wouldn’t wish for that in a million years.
I’m about to get up from the table to tell him goodnight and go to my room when Lochlan blurts out, “What’s it going to take, Sophie?”
“Ah, what?” I dab the corner of my lips with a napkin while trying to figure out what exactly he’s talking about.
“You know I want you, princess. So, what do I have to do to get inside of you again?”
Oh. That.
My hormones want me to believe him, that he only wants me. My head and my heart are so damn nervous, though. Trusting him doesn’t come easy. I want Lochlan, but I don’t want him to use me then hurt me.
Actually, I know exactly what I want from him. What I’ve wanted this entire time.
I don’t want to second-guess every little thing, worry about doing something wrong or look embarrassed when my inexperience is obvious like when I got on my knees in the SUV.
Lochlan deserves one more chance, right? Besides, my period is due any day now, so there’s no pregnancy concerns for me to worry about if he doesn’t use protection.
That’s why I tell Lochlan, “There’s nothing…”
“There has to be something I can do to change your mind!” he roars, interrupting me. “I’m fucking desperate for you, Sophie. Is that what you want to hear? Do you want me to get on my knees and beg?”
He would get on his knees and beg for me?
“No, Lochlan. I meant there’s nothing you need to do to change my mind,” I explain to him. “I just…I think I’ve been waiting for you.”
“You’ve been waiting for me?” he repeats, his brow furrowed.
“Yes, I’ve been waiting on you to promise to be faithful, which you sort of did, and for you to just…take what you want from me, like you did the first time.”
Lochlan’s eyes are instantly heavy-lidded, a darker shade of green. “You don’t mean that, princess.”
“I do,” I whisper. “I-I trust you. If you haven’t been with anyone else...”
“I haven’t and I won’t,” he promises.
“Then I believe you. That you only want me. I want you too, even if it’s complicated.”
“Complicated? What does that mean?”
“What I mean is I’m not entirely sure what I want when it comes to sex. I didn’t want you to take my virginity that night. I was scared, nervous, but I wanted you. I liked that you took it anyway, that you made the decision for me. One that made me feel good. Is that wrong?”
