AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Why won’t you say yes?”
“Because.” Lexi’s breath caught in her throat. “Because I couldn’t survive another loss.” Sagging her shoulders, Lexi looked out the window unfurling words that wrapped her heart with barbed wire. “Jared took away any choice or chance for me to have kids. Before I even had time enough to consider what my life would be like and what I wanted. My broken baggage shouldn’t be his burden.” Lexi picked at the muffin in front of her. “I love him enough to not tie him to damaged goods.” There was more under the surface she kept stuffed down never to see the light of day.
“Le—”
“Mia. Please. Please, can we just leave this be?” She was on her way to earning the gold medal in avoidance.
“Let me say this. I have one thing to say first, okay? You might not want to hear it, but we aren’t that type of friends?” She was right. They were always honest with each other, even when it was ugly and unkind.
“Fine.” Lexi inhaled deeply through her nose, rolling her eyes up and to the side. She held her finger up in emphasis. “One shot.”
“That’s all I need. Love and feelings are never easy, Lex.” Mia grabbed her by the upper arms and rested her forehead against her friend’s. “I’ve never— ever —seen you back down from a fight. I know you’re afraid to fail, to fall. But Lex, what if you fly?”
Hope was the scariest emotion of all.
***
Pop music blared through the speakers, and her knee bounced anxiously to the beat as she stared at the back door of the tattoo shop. She was building the nerve to go in.
Lexi had cooked up the perfect plan that felt a lot more solid forty-five minutes ago when she pulled up with a strawberry milkshake for her appointment. He would already be inside sterilizing his station, ever the preplanned organizer.
Sandra Mae was the name she’d used when she pulled up the scheduling chat, it was the first one that came to mind. It was the name of a comedian they’d seen on one of their first dates. She’d requested simple linework with the available artist—knowing the time she'd picked that she would be paired with Noah.
Lexi stewed over the conversation she’d had with Mia the other night, wishing it was as easy as flipping a switch and making all her fears go away.
“Put up or shut up.” She shook her head and closed the visor mirror. Lexi grabbed the milkshake from the center console, knowing it was one of his favorites.
She caught her reflection in the back window of the shop, checking the jean skirt and tank top she wore. She’d paired them with sandals and a thin veil of confidence.
Clawing up the nerve, then squashing down her knee jerk reaction to run. She pushed her way through the shop door, noticing the front desk was empty which gave her the ability to head straight for his station.
Lexi caught sight of Noah wiping down the bench, busily moving items around to where he needed them. She admired the way he’d blended professional comfort with dark jeans and a collared shirt with a cartoon character. She smiled at the Tasmanian Devil print.
“Hey…”
He looked up when he heard her approach, surprise showed in his eyes as his gaze followed her from the doorway to his station, looking for someone else. “I'm waiting on a client. I didn't know you were coming by today… Is everything okay, sweet pea?”
Lexi nodded, walking closer to where he stood and handed over the strawberry milkshake she’d brought for him. He took it gratefully before motioning for her to sit down on the bench opposite him. Lexi kissed his cheek and obliged, taking a deep breath as she tried not to fidget with the hem of her tank top or pick imaginary lint off of her jeans.
“You're,” her voice faltered, and she cleared her throat. “You're not waiting on anyone else. You're waiting on me. I'm your appointment.”
Noah looked at her inquisitively, his brows raising as he placed the milkshake to the side of them. He cupped one hand under her chin and used it to study her face. “What is it?”
Lexi let out a shaky breath before finally finding her courage. She took his free hand in hers, slowly rubbed the back of his hand, her finger ran circles over the 'L' he'd tattooed between his thumb and forefinger nearly a year ago.
“I want this tattooed on me,” she said softly, locking eyes with Noah even though her voice quivered with nervousness. “Your initial.” She hesitated for a moment before continuing, “My index finger… to symbolize that I'll always pick you first…” Her sentence trailed off, the weight of what she was saying started to overtake her. As overwhelming as it was, she didn't regret it. It was a big step, a step in trust, and a leap in love.
Noah smiled softly at the words before lifting his other hand to cradle Lexi's cheek gently. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead tenderly before responding quietly, “If that's what you want… it would be my honor.”
“I want you,” she whispered, her heart pounding in her chest, so loud she was sure he could hear it. She tried again, this time a little louder. “Can this be…” She inhaled deeply and regained her composure. “I don't know if—” Nerves locked the carefree and assertive Lexi away, leaving behind vulnerabilities she'd only been able to show him. “This is me trying, in my way. Can this be enough for you?” For now.
Noah stilled, his thumbs brushing over her skin, soothing away the tension around her eyes. “Lookie you,” he hummed. Noah broke out into a huge grin, and she sighed with relief.
The tension she’d been carrying melted away with his touch and smile.
“This means more to me than just ink,” he reassured her softly. “Even blind I would know every curve of your body. Every birthmark, all the ways you display my ink to the world. The heart-shaped birthmark on the inside of your thigh that’s only for my eyes to see. You were made for me. I’d walk through fire for you. I’ll love you enough for us both.”
“Noah. I love you.”
