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“Stop.”
“Why were they out that night?” Nolan’s tone was even, prying further into memories she didn’t want to relive.“Where were you? What happened?”
Her blood ran cold through her veins. “She told you.”
“Not everything. She loves you and won’t break your trust or her loyalty.” He stepped toward her, and Lexi stepped back in turn. “ Who happened to you, Lexi ?”
“Jared.” Lexi pressed her lips together, gagging, bile rolling in her stomach at his name.
The silence stretched a beat too long, and Lexi knew she wasn’t getting out of this moment. The bandaid was coming off. She couldn’t distract Nolan the way she did with Noah. “Fuck!” She grabbed the hammer and charged over to the set-up sheetrock.
Once. Twice. Three times the metal hammer hit the wall, bits of plaster crumbled at her feet. Every beat of impact ate into her soul.
“What happened Lexi!? What did Jared do? Say it!”
“Put me in the ho-spital! He tried to gut me like FUCKING fish!” Sheetrock dust clung to her hair and wet cheeks. She rubbed her running nose on her sleeve, adjusting the protective glasses she wore.
“Listen to me. You had no control over his actions. You weren’t asking for it!” Nolan stepped toward her.
Lexi hit the wall again, her anger dissipating into sadness. She dropped the hammer at her feet. “I shouldn’t have gone with him. It was stupid!”
The arms that grabbed her shoulders couldn’t keep her standing, and she folded onto her knees. Arms wrapped around her as she shook, unable to block out the words. “What happened is not your fault. Not what happened to you, or to them.” Warm hands cupped her face. “You deserve the love and the life you have made. Without guilt or reservation.”
“It hurts.”
“You don’t get rid of the pain. You just make room for it.”
“Room?!” she laughed bitterly, gesturing widely with her arms. “Room? I’m nothing but empty rooms. A hollow house that doesn’t feel like home anymore.”
“Then make it, kiddo. You’ve someone who wants to build that life.”
“Haunted and broken.”
“You’re not broken.” Mia’s voice turned her attention toward the door, her friends watery eyes matched her own. “You’re my perfectly imperfect friend who doesn’t need permission to live the life she deserves. A life she fought and earned.”
She turned and saw her best friend of over ten years and she crumbled. Memories of that night flooded forth and grief was replaced by regret. “ Mia, I'm sorry. I'm s-so sorry. I should have listened. You told me not to go. If I didn't I never would have met him.”
“I would have never met Evan,” Mia whispered, stopping Lexi’s movements. “That’s not the important part, but an example that anything can happen at any time. It’s all life-changing. It’s what you do with it that matters.”
“You’re momming me again.”
“It’s a form of I love you.”
“I love you.”
“Lex, why didn’t you tell me you were looking for Jared?”
“I–what.” How did she know?
“I found a letter at the house, Nolan opened it by accident thinking it was business mail I missed and we put some of the pieces together.” Mia grabbed her hands, holding them tight and anchoring her at the moment. “Why didn’t you tell me? You’re not supposed to go through this alone.”
“You read it?” she whispered, anxiety and relief became fast friends coercing through her veins. Lexi’s heart ricochets in her ears, the loud whomp increasing its momentum.
“Yeah, I did. You know what’s inside doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does.”
“How? How will you knowing anything that concerns him matter to you and your life now? In this moment.”
