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"I'm making you breakfast."
I grinned. "That's so kind."
"Yeah, well, if you think that's kind, you ain't seen nothing yet." She paused and looked at me for a moment.
"What's up?"
"Just taking you in. I've never had such a handsome man in my childhood bed before.”
"You’ve never had any man in your childhood bed before.” I paused. “Wait, have you?”
“Nope,” she said, chuckling. She continued to stare at me.
"Take a photo, it'll last longer."
"Good idea." She suddenly pulled out her phone from somewhere behind her. She must have had it tucked into the band of her panties. What I wouldn't have given to be that phone.
"Whoa, I wasn't serious," I said, holding out a hand.
But it was too late. She'd already taken a snap. "Mwahaha, now I can blackmail you." She looked at the photo. "Wowzers. This is definitely one for the spank bank."
"Excuse me?"
Her cheeks burned red. "Nothing! Goodbye!" She left, then stuck her head back around the door. "Breakfast in five, sexy man."
I lay back in bed, grinning like an idiot. I closed my eyes trying to savor the moment, but almost immediately, I felt a big warm hairy lump jump on top of me.
“Anthony!”
He was licking my face.
“Good morning to you, too, bud,” I said, laughing.
Well, that was that. I’d truly been initiated into the O'Neil household now.
***
"So, the key to a good bacon sandwich," Elara said as she set the plate down in front of me, "is lots of bacon."
I eyed the mouth-watering stack of pork that practically spilled from the slices of whole wheat bread. "Lots of bacon is my mantra in life."
"And ketchup. You need ketchup." She poured me a coffee.
"What have I done to deserve this?" I asked.
She put a finger to her lips, as though thinking hard. “Well, I mean, you do basically everything. For everyone. All the time.”
I took a bite. “Hot damn, that is incredible.”
“I am a professional chef.”
“Just for fancy shit, though."
"You don't think a bacon sandwich is fancy? It's all in the details." She pointed to the bacon. "I cook half the bacon for an extra four minutes. That means that each bite is heterogeneous."
"Of course. Heteropotamus bites."
She laughed. "It’s all about variety. Each bite contains just the right amount of tenderness and crunch. I spread the butter thick so it's always moist." I stared at her gorgeous mouth as she spoke. "And the ketchup is homemade. Thick, sharp, ridiculously sweet."
