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“No,” I say. “It’s just—I thought I could do this without hatching feelings, but I don’t think I’m that person. You know? The one who can do casual? And I don’t know whether he feels the same way, and I don’t know what to do. I feel like if I do nothing, we’re going to end up?—”
“Bringing in the dick,” she supplies.
I roll my eyes.
“I mean, just telling it like it is,” she says.
“Yes. And if we do that?—”
“Then you will be forever changed by your encounter with his magic wand, and you will never, ever be able to have sex with another man without thinking of Mavryx, Lord Extyllior.”
“When you put it that way, it sounds kinda dumb, but…”
“Maybe just don’t overthink it,” she says. “Do you want to stop? Do you want to walk away from the potentially most magical dick in the entire universe?”
“Erm,” I say. “No. But I also don’t want to be that same deluded woman who spent more than a year of her life falling head over heels for a guy who didn’t know how to do anything that didn’t serve his own interests. What’s that thing people say? When someone shows you who they are, believe them? The world knows Shane Hott is a one-and-done, woman-of-the-month club. He came to me with a proposition; he laid it out completely clearly. We planned our breakup first, and it wasn’t even hard to come up with a narrative because both of us could look at the situation and say, yeah, there’s no fucking way this could work.”
“But you’re not expecting it to work,” she says. “You’re just trying to enjoy the magic dick.”
“It’s probably not technically magic,” I say. Then I cover my face with my hands and say, “But his tongue definitely is. Oh, garbage, I am so screwed.”
“I mean, if you use the old and busted definition, you’re not screwed yet, and it sounds like you really want to be,” she points out. “And you didn’t say anything about tongue. Please do elaborate.”
“No,” I say. “All you need to know is that all the sex toys at my bachelorette party have nothing on this guy.”
“And I think,” she says, pointing at me, “that that might also be all you need to know? Sex that good doesn’t come along every day. If I were you? I’d buckle up and take the ride.”
I open my mouth. Because I really want to tell her that it might already be too late. I might already be in trouble. When I woke up this morning on the couch, tucked in under a fleece blanket, I lay there for a long time, thinking. Thinking about the way it had been between us, hot and dirty and also so, so intense, like his body was already intimately, completely familiar to me. That eye contact when he’d held my gaze the second time he’d made me come. His fingers had been talented, yeah, but it had been the way it felt like he was all the way inside me, seeing deep down that wrenched the orgasm out of me.
Maybe it was just me, letting myself get carried away, but I didn’t think so. And I didn’t think so afterward, either, when he held me and cuddled me and wouldn’t let me go.
I thought something had happened between us. Something real.
And then this morning, when I’d woken up and he was gone?
I’d had to work really hard to pretend it didn’t hurt.
“So what happens next?”
“No idea,” I say. “We have a cake tasting this afternoon and a cocktail tasting tonight. I guess…I wait and see?”
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out.
Shane: Hey.
“It’s him,” I say.
Nia lights up. “Yeah?”
The three dots form, then resolve into, That was amazing last night. You were amazing last night. I hope it wasn’t weird that I left. I thought it might be even weirder for you if I stayed.
I clutch the phone to my chest, mouth and eyes wide for Nia’s benefit.
“Good, huh?” she asks, grinning. Then, eyes still surveying my face, her expression gets serious. “Ivy.”
“I know,” I say. “I know.”
“I just don’t want you to get hurt. Because you obviously…like this guy. And he’s…”
