AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I was out with Quinn last night in LA. He came to see me. I put my phone on Do Not Disturb because…well, because I was a head case and I needed to do some serious thinking,” he says. “And then my thinking took me to the airport at the crack of dawn, and I accidentally stowed my phone in my checked luggage…and I don’t know, next thing I knew, I was here. So whatever you’re talking about, I don’t know anything about it.” He shakes his head again, takes a step toward me. He still has that same tender expression on his face, like he can see into me. Like he can see through me to the part of him that’s missed him so much.
I let myself grab onto a tiny, slender thread of hope.
He didn’t come for the wedding. He…
“I came for you,” he says. “I’m here for you. I stopped at your house, then the theater, and Nia said you were here, so… I’m here because—I don’t want to lose you. I want what we have together…to be real.”
The vise around my chest, for the first time in a couple of days, loosens. I draw what feels like the first full breath in forever. And that, unfortunately, is it for me.
“You hurt me so much,” I say and burst into tears.
42
Shane
Her tears hit me full in the chest.
“Oh God, Ivy, I’m so sorry,” I say and reach for her. I don’t know if she’ll come. I don’t know if she’ll be able to forgive me for being so slow to understand what she means to me. But holy shit, I hope so. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want this. “I’ve been so stubborn and ridiculous and—wrong. What I said…about how I can’t try. I— The thing is I don’t have to try. I don’t have to try to love you. I’m already there.” I take a breath. “I love you.”
And it’s not hard at all. I thought saying those words would be a challenge, but it turns out to be the easiest thing I’ve ever done.
Except she doesn’t step into my arms. She just…looks up at me through her tears, and my chest splits open.
I’m too late. I can’t fix this. It’s all over.
I’ve hurt her, and I hate that. I hate it so much. And I deserve for her to walk away now and not look back.
“You don’t believe me,” I say. “I don’t blame you. But it’s true. I don’t know exactly when it happened. I wish I did, so I could look back at that moment and say, That was when I knew I loved Ivy. But I think I’ve loved you since I met you. I remember running into you at the spa, and it was like walking into a wall, Ivy. You were beautiful, but it was the smile that fucking killed me. I wanted to know your secrets. I wanted you to smile at me. I’m the luckiest man in the world because you smiled at me—even once. I hope I can convince you to smile at me again, but if I can’t…well, I’m still the luckiest man.”
“Shane.”
I’m so sure she’s going to say it’s too late, it’s not enough, and I can’t hear that, so I keep going.
“Then I saw you the day of the Hott Spot grand opening with Quinn, hugging him and smiling at him—and…remember I told you I wasn’t possessive?”
“I remember,” she says.
“I’m possessive of you,” I say. “I wanted to dismember him.”
“That would have been excessive,” she says dryly. And for the first time, I hear a smile in her voice.
“Part of me wishes I’d never asked you to fake marry me because maybe then I would have done this right the first time. Made it real the first time. So when we flirted in the Depot bar, you would have known I could barely keep it in my pants. And when you walked into the room as Oriana, you would have known it was really me, Shane, losing my fucking head over you. When I kissed you, you would have known I couldn’t help myself, and when I kissed you again you would have known I wanted to do it for hours while I buried myself in you—” My voice breaks. “Oh God, Ivy, I?—”
I realize what the hard thing to say really is.
“I was scared I’d screw it up,” I say, and then?—
Well, fuck.
“I hope you meant it when you said you love men who cry.”
Now she smiles. Really smiles.
“Come here,” I say helplessly, my voice wrecked, and this time she does. I wrap my arms around her and hold on as tight as I can. She feels so good in my arms. So right, so familiar. So perfect.
“Shane,” she says, and then she’s tilting her face up, drawing mine down, kissing me all over until she finds my mouth. Hers is soft and open, forgiving and eager, and I kiss her like I can’t get enough. I can’t get enough. I’m starving for her, my arms wrapping her tight, my mouth tilting for the perfect angle so I can have more of her. All of her.
Before I’ve had enough, though, she draws back.
