AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I know, I’ll talk to Amanda.” He reassured her as he walked her to the door.
“Are you okay?” He asked as soon as she was gone. I nodded my head and went to the kitchen to finish his dinner that had been on low in the oven. It was his second favorite meal and something I only made on Sundays. Pot roast with baby potatoes and honey-glazed carrots.
He ate while I cleaned up and told me how much Deidre liked the nursery, except for a few minor changes that she wanted implemented. I nodded along and spoke in all the right places when needed.
The night calls continued uninterrupted and so did the doctor visits that I was not allowed to know about because she didn’t feel comfortable sharing medical information with me.
Then came the night she went into labor, and I sat alone at home while my husband held his hand. There was a lot of furor in the days following. A lot of excitement, with everyone running around and getting things ready for mother and child. By the way, she was convalescing at Cecile’s home, where Dan was to spend the first week while I stayed at home alone.
By the time he returned the following week, I think I had already become a different person. I no longer felt like myself. The things that used to matter to me before now seemed so banal.
AMANDA
After the baby was a couple of months old, Deidre went back to work, and Cecile babysat. Every evening before he came home to me, Dan would go to his mother’s house to spend time with his son; he was ecstatic, more excited than I’d seen him in a while.
He was on cloud nine; the final goal in his life’s dream had finally been fulfilled, while I had died a thousand deaths in the last seven months. I don’t know exactly what it was that brought me back to earth, but I knew that it was about the third or fourth time I’d been invited to the in-law’s home only to find Deidre there.
There were pictures taken in which I had been asked to stand to the side while Dan, Deidre, and Dan Jr. were front and center with the rest of the family around them. This time, for some reason, it struck me where I live.
After that night, there was a pattern. Deidre and her child would take center stage at every family event, and the excuse was always that it was for the baby. The baby needed to feel safe and secure with both parents.
One day, I looked in the mirror at what I had become, and I didn’t like it. That day, I left work early and drove straight to my parents’ house. “Well, if it isn’t the little runaway pancake.” Mom greeted me at the door as soon as she heard the car pull up.
All it took was her arms around me for the dam to break. “Amanda? Mandy? What happened? Why are you crying like that?” I told her everything, standing right there with my face buried in her chest.
My Dad came running when Mom started screaming and crying like her life was coming to an end. “What happened? Who’s hurt?” Mom filled him in, and then the two of us spent the next ten minutes holding him back from going after Dan.
“I’ll murder that son of a bitch.”
“No, Dad, you can’t, I don’t want that, please don’t do anything. I just need a place to stay for a few days until I get my thoughts together.”
“Of course, your old room is always there for you anytime you need it, you know that.” Mom helped me up the stairs and helped me to bed before taking off my shoes.
I don’t know how long I slept, but it must’ve been a while because it was much darker outside than when I arrived. I found my parents in the kitchen drinking coffee and speaking in hushed tones. They both looked up at my arrival with red, swollen eyes.
“Listen, hon, your mother and I have been talking, and we don’t think it’s a good idea for you to just vacate the marital home; it could be grounds for abandonment if you were thinking of getting a divorce, that is.”
The thing about my parents is that they never push. They might have an opinion on any given matter, but they won’t voice it unless asked. For a second, my stomach started to hurt when I thought they were going to tell me to go back.
“That’s right, Mandy, so we think you should call Dan and tell him your father, or I am sick, and you’re needed here for a few days.” I released the breath I was holding and went to hug her. The tears just wouldn’t stop coming, but they both held me as Dad got up from his seat to join us, and I fought back tears of gratitude.
They’d already asked why I hadn’t told them sooner, and I explained that Dan had asked me not to, to give him some time to find a way to explain himself. I know now that I should never have agreed to that. All it did was make me feel isolated while he had his family behind him cheering him on.
Mom was so mad at Cecile and her treatment of me that she was ready to throw hands. “What about your sisters and brothers? Should we tell them, or do you want to wait?”
“Can we wait for a bit? I don’t think I have the energy to deal with all of the questions right now. I’ll go call Dan and let him know that I’ll be staying here tonight.”
I went to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face first, then did some breathing exercises to get my voice and tone under control. I felt sick to my stomach as I listened to the phone ring because I had never deceived him before.
He answered the phone, sounding a bit distracted, and from the noise in the background, it sounded like he was still at his mother’s. “Hey Dan, something came up; I’m going to stay with my parents for a few days.”
I’d forgotten what I was supposed to say. “Hold on a minute let me go in the other room.” I heard him tell someone he’d be right back and was sure I heard Deidre’s voice. “Repeat that?”
“Dad’s not feeling well, and Mom’s not doing too well either, so I’m going to go to work from here for a few days.”
“You didn’t tell them, did you?” There was sheer panic in his voice.
“No.” I couldn’t get any more out.
