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Really late.
38
JACKSON
Forget about her.
The thought echoed around in my head as I climbed onto the tour bus, my bag slung over my shoulder. I loved being on the road. Well, at least I thought I did. Right now, I wasn’t sure what I was feeling—but I did know that it was nothing close to excitement.
“Oh my god!” I heard Maeve say from behind me. “This is going to be so amazing!” Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard for my ears. I cringed, sliding into the booth and focusing my attention out the window.
“It sucks so bad that Lena couldn’t come,” Maeve added as she passed me, giving me the stink eye—like somehow it was my fault that she wasn’t there.
I chose not to make a comment, mostly because I had nothing nice to say about any of it. Good riddance to Lena. I’d tried to call her. I’d tried to text her.
And nothing.
She never replied to any of it.
I leaned back against the leather seat, peering out into the darkness. It was early, really early. However, we had a concert to get to tonight. Management had worked hard to fill the schedule, and part of me wondered if it had anything to do with Lena falling through the cracks.
“You look like shit,” Nel chuckled to me, raising a brow. “You spend the night out last night? I sure as hell wish I would have. Maybe then I’d be able to sleep on this stupid bus.”
I shook my head. “I haven’t gone out in a long time…but maybe I should.” The thought seemed exhausting, but I needed to do something to stop thinking about her. Though, the last time I got drunk, I’d ended up punching some guy in the face—because of Lena.
Fuck me.
“You still heartbroken?” Aaron slid in beside me, patting my shoulder.
I forced a laugh. “I’m not fuckin’ heartbroken. I’m just tired.”
“Lies,” Aaron chimed. “I know you’re heartbroken.”
Nel rolled his eyes. “He’s probably just pissed off that he wasted so much time with someone who seriously bailed on him.”
“She had good reason.” I found myself growing defensive, even if I was mad at her.
“No, she didn’t,” Nel snorted, shaking his head as he leaned his chin on his hand. “She forfeited a lot, and for what? Doing some dumb program with a handful of kids? They probably won’t even remember her in a few months.”
My chest burned with anger. “Shut up,” I sneered. “She makes a huge difference in those kids’ lives.”
Nel made a face like he might argue with me, but then went silent. He ran his fingers through his hair and leaned his head against the windowsill, closing his eyes.
“He’s just bitter because he’s lonely,” Aaron chuckled, meeting my gaze as the bus lurched forward. “He wants someone so bad, and it never works out for him.”
Nel mumbled something incoherent, and Aaron and I exchanged a glance before bursting into laughter.
“I have no idea how he sleeps like that.”
“Me either,” I agreed with him, though as the laughter faded and the hum of the road filled the bus, reality sank back in. I pulled out my phone, hitting the button to check for notifications. There were plenty.
But none of them mattered.
“It’s okay to admit that you’re torn up about her.” Aaron’s voice dropped. “We all know you liked her—and if you like her, make it right.”
“I’m just mad at her for bailing on me.” I forced out the words, though they didn’t seem to ring true in my head.
“So you’re mad that you don’t have a fake fiancée—one that you didn’t want from the beginning, anyway? You should be jumping for joy right now. You can party and give the world hell like you always do.”
