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The chime of the door opening stopped me in my tracks. Tyson and Maeve appeared, laughing as they stepped into the entryway. However, the moment their eyes landed on me, the laughter faded.
“I gotta go,” I said to Dad quickly. “I’ll call you later.”
“Don’t shy away from love because of our past,” he said quickly. “I mean that. It’s worth it. It’s always worth it. Love you.”
“Yeah, if I didn’t fuck it up, but love you too,” I muttered, hanging up the phone.
“Dude…” Tyson looked at me with worry written all over his face. “I figured it would be bad, but not this bad. You look like shit.”
“I’m a fucking idiot,” I blurted out to both of them.
Maeve shook her head at me, and I knew that more than likely Lena had already confided in her—and Tyson probably knew too.
“You are an idiot.” Her voice was sharp, confirming my fears. “But I also understand that it was a lot to take in at once.”
“That’s no excuse,” I reasoned, my voice growing thick as I felt myself on the edge of breaking down. “I should’ve held her and told her it was all going to be okay. Instead, I was just so fucking shocked, I didn’t know what to do. I never thought…”
“That she would get pregnant?” Tyson offered, taking a step toward me.
I nodded. “It took me so long to just come around to the idea of trying love for real, and then bam, now there’s a baby too—and I’m…I’m excited.” The words spilled out like a flood. “But I’m terrified, man. I don’t know how to have kids and raise them and shit. I can barely take care of myself.”
“It’s a reason to slow down,” Tyson said, carefully. “And you’ve always been great with kids.”
“But I don’t want to let her down,” I admitted, the walls crumbling down. “I don’t want to let Lena down more than I already have. I fucking walked right out when she told me to go—and I should’ve stayed and fought for her.”
“You’re being really hard on yourself.” Maeve’s voice was surprisingly understanding. “It was a lot to take in, and that’s what I told Lena. We know you care about her, and you’re figuring out how to make it work. It’s a scary thing for you.”
“I love her,” I admitted, looking at both of them. “I fucking love her, and I need her to know that. She’s worth the world to me. And so is this baby we’re gonna have. I’ve never felt this way before, and it’s terrifying…”
“But worth it,” Tyson said quietly, reaching out to grab Maeve’s hand. “That’s the thing, Jackson. It’s fucking terrifying, but love is worth all the heartbreak that comes with it. It’s not easy. It doesn’t always feel good, but damn, it’s worth it.”
I pursed my lips as they both gave me soft smiles. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to fix it with her.”
“You could just go talk to her,” Maeve suggested, shrugging her shoulders. “That’s a good way to start. I know she’s upset, but I don’t think she’d turn you away. She was just really hurt in the moment.”
I shook my head. “That’s not enough. I don’t want to just talk. I want to do something that will make this all right.”
Tyson nodded. “I get what you’re saying. You want something that will blow her mind, right?”
“Yeah,” I said, my eyes glancing up the stairs to the music room. “And I think I might know what it is.”
“I had a feeling you did.” Tyson grinned. “And I think we can make it happen. Come on.”
43
LENA
“Idon’t know why I’m doing this,” I mumbled as I stepped onto the stage.
“My partner canceled,” Mason said to me, shooting me a grateful smile. “I need you tonight. I promise you just have to sing a couple songs with me, and then you’re done.”
I nodded, feeling guilty for my reaction. “I’m sorry. It’s just been a long week.”
“Yeah, I get that,” Mason said, slipping the guitar strap over his neck. I watched, setting up at the keyboard and microphone. I normally wouldn’t have offered to play the set with him, but he had seemed pretty desperate…
And I needed a distraction.
“You okay?” Mason asked me, his voice low.
