AllFreeNovel
Share Us
We were only just starting out, but now that is over; I saw the way he looked at me.
He hates me.
My phone rings from inside of my purse, and reaching for it, I see my sister Tree’s name flash across the screen. Ignoring the call, I shut my phone off, and climb out of my car.
My body feels heavy, weighed down by decisions that I never thought I would have to make… yet anyway.
Once inside my house, I lock my door, dropping my purse on the chair as I pass, kicking my shoes off and walking straight to my bedroom, the day’s events making me feel sleepy.
Stripping off my clothes, I leave on my bra and panties, then slip into my bed. Letting the cool softness of the bedding soothe me, it engulfs me. Pulling the bedding over my head, I plan to block out the world.
Images flash of Calder above me, his body blanketing me, while his dick slides in and out of me. It feels like days have passed since he did, but it was only a few hours ago. I cry for what feels like hours, until my eyes feel heavy, and I drift off into a sleep that isn’t so restful.
* * *
Startling awake from my nightmare, I look around and find myself still in my bedroom, under the covers. My heart is beating rapidly in my chest, so hard that it hurts. My hand covers it, pressing down in hopes that it will calm, but it doesn’t.
Everything that happened with Calder and his baby comes flooding back, and I scream.
Screaming is good for the soul, so I am told.
When I run out of breath, I cry. Sobbing into my pillow.
Once I have calmed, I climb out of bed, stripping from my underwear and getting into the shower. I need to wash everything away.
The water trickles over my body, my eyes closed bringing images of Calder holding the baby.
“Fuck.”
I feel like a coward for leaving him, but I also feel like it was a good move to make. I am so fucking confused.
Some people would think that I am being stupid for the way I am acting and maybe they are right. We were literally just getting together but it feels like it has been a long time coming, and the way he was with me felt deep.
Fuck.
For years I have wanted Calder, but knew it was out of my reach. Seeing him with so many women over the years was something that I got used to, and yeah, at times it felt like a gut punch but there was nothing that I could do about it.
He was never mine.
Now he is, or was I guess, because there is no way he will forgive me for running.
I wash my body and hair, before I get out to dry off and dress in the clothes that I wear when I play with resin. I think I can make some dark, twisted skull designs with the way I am feeling.
Maybe something to do with the bullet shells that I bought online not long ago, or something with the black glittery tree branches that I also got.
I go to my kitchen and make some coffee, avoiding eating anything because just the thought of eating makes me sick to my stomach. Sipping on the black liquid of the Gods, my doorbell rings.
Looking at the clock for the first time, my eyes widen seeing that it is nine in the morning. Shit, I slept that long.
With my mug in hand, I go to the door, checking the peephole before opening. I sigh seeing Finan on the other side. With another sigh, I pull the door open.
He looks me up and down, a blank expression on his face.
“What?” I ask, knowing how I look.
I am dressed in a pair of black leggings, and an old thin sweatshirt that falls off one shoulder. My hair is clipped back, I didn’t even bother to dry it.
“You look like shit,” he voices.
