Page 56 of Dirty Arrangement


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“Boyfriend,” he says, brushing his thumbs over my fingers, frowning as if he’s exploring that word for the first time. Testing it in his mouth for texture. “I want to be so much more than your boyfriend, wild flame. I want to be the fuel that feeds your fire. And I’m selfish, so terribly selfish, wanting to keep you in the dark cave that is my soul, to be the only one who basks in your warmth. In exchange,” he breathes, “I’m willing to exist only for you. To worship you, to honor you.”

He yanks me closer, my chest knocking into his. “Just seeing you, or even just smelling you, is enough to make me hard as fuck. But sometimes, the desire is so much that I’m afraid I’ll rip you apart. I’m broken and probably can’t be fixed, but I’m yours body and soul.”

He cups my face in his large palm, and I drink in every word as he says, “You’re a gift I never expected from my wretched life. I know the healthy thing to do when one receives such a gift is to hold it gently for as long as it stays, but I can’t help but cling.” His arm circles my back, crushing me against his adamant body. His voice goes low, seductive, and enrapturing. “And this is my form of clinging. Sedating you with pleasure and branding myself into your awareness with every ache and every bruise and every orgasm.”

His hand wraps around the back of my head, sinking into my hair. “So you see, Sirenna Miller, being your boyfriend could never be enough for me. What I want to be is the man you’re tied to for the rest of your life.” My heart beats wildly as his lips hover over mine. “I think I wanted it from the start, I just didn’t know what was happening to me. Watching you fuck that guy’s face at The Rite turned me on, but it also filled me with rage and resentment. So I found a way to guide you to me, to draw you into my trap where no one else could touch you but me.”

I tilt my chin up, silently begging for a kiss, but he keeps himself a breath away. I search for the reason in his eyes that now resemble a storm-torn sea, bent on shattering every single ship that ventures onto its raging waves.

“But in order to get you with any degree of legitimacy, I had to get Joseph out of the way.”

It takes me a few moments to understand what he just said. I try to make some distance between us so I can think, wedging my hands between our chests, but he keeps me too close, not giving an inch. His hold on my hair tightens, tilting my head back enough so he can feast on my lips if he wants to.

“See? You’re already tempted to get away from me,” he rasps. “And you haven’t even heard me out.” His mouth curls up in a smile devoid of amusement. “Not that you’ll want it any less, once you know the truth.”

Questions run around in my head, but the only option now is to let him talk, hear everything he has to say.

“Just to make things clear, I’m not entirely to blame,” he says. “Joseph did go into hiding of his own accord. His intention was to have you gang-banged, catch it on camera, and use it if it came to a divorce. That is if his original plan didn’t work, namely his enemies killing you. They’d then go at each other, wanting to keep his empire to themselves. Once he’d played them against each other, he would re-emerge, all of his problems now solved.”

I shudder at the words, but Zayne’s hold steadies me. Even though I expected something like this, it still does things to a woman, hearing that her own husband wanted her dead. Preferably after watching her get gang-banged.

“I intercepted those plans and kidnapped him. By then, I had gathered enough information about you to make a likely prediction that you’d come looking for me.”

He nods when all I do is stare at him dumbfounded.

“Yes,” he purrs. “I couldn’t get you out of my head after The Rite, wild flame, so I watched you. I stalked everything you did online, but you kept things slim on social media, so I had people watch you at your hotel. The rest is history.”

The storm in his eyes grows darker as he waits for my reaction, but I can’t bring myself to say a word. How does a girl react to what he just told me? It’s not that I could have expected him to come clean from the start, could I? He didn’t even understand the nature of his desire for me. Hell, he didn’t even know what he wanted from me yet–whether to fuck my face or have me fuck his. As for me? I’m still drunk on his declaration. It made me giddier than any of Joseph’s “I love you’s”, elated me like the touch of the wings of a fallen angel.

I clear my throat, avoiding his eyes that scrutinize me.

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because I can’t ask for your love and keep a bag of secrets. I need to come clean.”

“Is this what you’re doing? Asking for my love?”

I’m sure those stormy eyes could swallow me whole if he didn’t keep all that power on a leash.

“I can understand if you can’t give it to me,” he grumbles, “but it won’t stop me from taking you anyway. I’ll force you to stay with me, even if you despise me. There’s nothing I’ll refuse you except for your independence. But even if this is a forced relationship, I won’t base it on lies.”

The ghost of a smile flies over my lips.

“Look at you, tormented by your morals.”

“Morals,” he hisses. “It’s not morals. It’s me selfishly wanting to be worthy of you.”

My hands caress that brutal, scarred body mindlessly.

“I will stay by your side of my own choice–on one condition.” I push myself into him, my need for his warmth leaking through all my pores. “I want to know the core of what you believe is your evil nature. I want to see it with my own eyes.”

“See it with your own eyes,” he repeats quietly. “That would put you in grave danger.”

“Aren’t I already in grave danger with Joseph’s entire mob chasing after me?”

A new shadow falls over his face. The shadow of guilt. “Danger that I put you in.”

I shake my head. “It’s admirable of you to take responsibility, but you didn’t put me in harm’s way. Joseph did when he went into hiding. His purpose was to get me killed.” I draw impossibly closer into him. “If anything, you saved my life.”

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