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“I’m a twisted bastard, so my love can’t be anything but twisted hell. I wish I could do better by you. Fuck knows you deserve better,” he says. We’re close now, too close, his hands resting on my waist. “Men in my line work can’t have any addictions, any soft spots, and I thought I could never fall prey to that. Yet you’ve become both of those things to me, and I’ll have to answer for it in front of Kelly and Priest, and probably the entire Order. They’ll probably ask me to let you go.”
His hands tighten on my waist as if someone were already trying to drag me away from him. He pulls me into his adamant chest, winding his arms around my body.
“The Order?” I manage, my voice breathy.
He pauses, searching my eyes as if to see if I’m ready for another chunk of his terrible truth before he speaks again. “When I started handpicking high school bullies that resembled Top Boy, to stalk them and kidnap them, I became, well, interesting for a certain group of people. The kind that can put serial killers to good use. They gave me an education, way beyond what Clive Thorngren could offer. It was an education that took all of my focus and balanced me out.”
“They polished the rough diamond,” I draw the conclusion.
“They polished my evil,” he emphasizes. “I was really good at hiding my crimes, which is probably what impressed them about me at first. But it was also the things I did with my victims...” He trails off. I can see it in his eyes, the uncertainty that I’m capable of taking any more of this. I don’t think I am either, and the responsible thing to do would be to push myself away from him. Yet instead I cling to the lapels of his suit jacket.
He clenches his jaw, his face pained as he closes his large hands around mine and peels them off of him. He steps back, but I follow him, instinctively trying to keep close. Even my instincts cling to him, wanting him. He forces a smile, stroking my face with his fingers and reminding me of the dried blood on my skin.
“Go upstairs, get yourself cleaned up. By the time you come down to the offices, I’ll be done with Kelly and Priest.”
I rip myself away. But no, I need to use this chance because I won’t have another one like it again.
Zayne keeps his eyes on me until the moment the elevator doors close, and that’s when I start shifting from one foot to the other. I’m ready to storm out of it and make a beeline for the guest’s bedroom because that’s where I got ready for the event tonight, but Mariana steps into my way.
“Ms. Sirenna,” she says, wiping her hands on her apron.
I stop in my tracks.
A second later, I remember that I’m covered in dried blood.
She frowns, measuring me up and down, and it’s all it takes for me to understand that Mariana was never a granny who baked for her employer. She assesses me now with the coolness of a woman who can fan kitchen knives if attackers stormed the apartment.
Finally, she drops her apron, lifts her chin, and says, “Shall I prepare a bath for you?”
After a few moments of awkward shifting like I’m about to pee, I reply, “It’s nice of you to offer, but I need to get this off of me as quickly as possible. So, I guess I’ll just go with a quick shower.”
She nods, and heads back into the kitchen as if nothing happened. I stare after her, realizing that none of the people surrounding Zayne Thorngren are simple. Another reason to get away from here as quickly as possible.
I hurry up the stairs and down the hall to the guestroom bathroom, but the moment I step in, I stumble over designer luggage. Remembering this is the room that Kelly uses whenever she’s here, jealousy punches into my chest. I shove the idea out of my head in order to stay focused. Stepping over the luggage, I snatch new clothes from the wardrobe and head quickly to his bedroom.
Snatching my phone from the bedside table, I lock myself in the bathroom. I practically rip the clothes off of me, holding the phone between my cheek and my shoulder as it rings.
“Jesus Freaking Christ, Sirenna,” Mia says by way of greeting. “You call a moment before Declan’s squad sets out to get you.”
“What the hell, Mia, I said I’d be in touch,” I huff as I fumble with the clasp of my bra behind my back. “He would never hurt me, you know that.”
She sighs. “We discovered new things, Sirenna. About the orphanage.” She stops, and I can see her in my mind’s eye, biting her lip because there’s no easy way to say what she needs to say. “Listen, I think you should talk directly to Declan about this.”
I open my mouth to protest, especially since I need her emotional support so desperately right now, but there’s a shuffle, and then Declan’s baritone replaces her melodic voice.
“Sirenna,” he says, “we need to get you out of there ASAP.” He sighs, and I can almost see him rake a hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have left you alone in this one from the start. Zayne Thorngren is too big of a gun–”
“Declan, I spent years as Joseph’s wife and a lot of time as an undercover source for your journalist wife, I knew what I was doing when I went after him.”
“You had absolutely no idea what you were getting yourself into. Zayne Thorngren isn’t the usual rich asshole. He’s not just a spoiled billionaire with extravagant ideas for fun. He’s got a network that gives the Secret Services a run for their money. Hell, I don’t know if the fucking Pentagon know enough about the Order he’s part of. And he’s a big, important part of it.”
“Joseph was powerful, too. He was part of the Triad.”
“And yet he had nothing on Thorngren.”
“Okay, so what are you saying, that you can take him down?” The idea doesn’t sit well with me.
“It won’t be easy.” A pause. “But if anyone stands a chance, then it’s Jax and I.”
