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Now what? What was this? You can’t build a long-distance relationship between two people who want different things in life. She’s said repeatedly that San Francisco is her home now. And I have no intention of leaving Meadow Bay. I love it here. This is where I want to get married and raise a family. Maybe it’s time to get my head out of my ass and move in that direction. And stop obsessing over her.
I rise from the mattress, steading my shoulders while Harbor parades through the room, dragging on clothes and stumbling in her haste.
After drawing my pants to my waist, I fasten the button and try to wrap my mind around what happened. It was sex. Men and women have sex. It doesn’t have to come with wedding rings, I love yous, and happily ever afters.
Hell, how often does it happen anyway? And even when it happens, it doesn’t have to stay that way. Look at my sister. It didn’t work out for her, and she tried. Fine, my parents and Harbor’s parents are still together after all these years, but that was a different time. I rotate my shoulders and pop my neck. It’s not a big deal. Don’t make it awkward.
She marches to the doorway, but before she breezes out the door, she spins on her heel and leans against the doorjamb. “Hey.” She clutches her bag tightly in her fist.
“Thanks for….” Jesus. What are you thanking her for? For getting you off? That sounds lame as shit. I clear my throat. “Look….” I inhale, trying to make sense of all the scattered thoughts floating around my head.
“I get it.” She flings her hand in the air as she stares at a spot behind my head. “We got carried away. It could have happened to anyone. We’re young, healthy adults with sex drives. It didn’t mean anything.”
“Yeah.” The muscle in my jaw twitches as I fight the urge to ball my hands into fists. How many guys is she banging back in San Francisco? Is that why she’s in such a hurry to get back?
Anger surges through me like a tidal wave. Her boss. She’s fucking obsessed with her boss. He’s all she fucking talks about. No wonder she can’t wait to get back. She doesn’t want him to know she screwed a nobody back home. I shove back the hurt that’s twisting my gut and firmly place all my wishful thinking into the past.
We don’t belong together. Never have. Never will. “Don’t stress about it. I know I won’t.”
Her eyes flash with an emotion that I can’t identify before her lids lower, and she retreats into the hallway while still facing me. “Yeah, thanks for the stress reliever.” She straightens her back and tips her chin out, and her gaze meets mine. “You’re as handy as a massage chair. No wonder the girls always lined up to fool around with you.”
“That’s bullshit.” The lid I’ve had over my anger snaps at her flippant comment. “I’m not a male slut despite what might be in your pretty little head, and I don’t like the implication that I am.”
“Right.” She bites her lips together and fumbles with the bag. “Forget I said that. It was rude and uncalled for. I apologize.”
“Apology accepted.” My shoulders deflate as exhaustion overwhelms me. The highs and lows of the last few hours are taking their toll on me. And there’s no beacon of hope to get me out of it unscathed.
She runs her hand through her hair. “Listen, I don’t usually do this, so I’m screwing it up.” Her lips slowly curve upward. “The sex was phenomenal. You’re amazing. And I don’t regret it for one second. But…”
“But we’re from two different places, and your brothers wouldn’t approve of what we just did?”
“Yes.” Her eyes twinkle for a second before she sobers. “Connor would lose his shit.”
“Yes, he would.” So why is it that I want to pull her into my arms and say fuck all of it and make love to her again?
“So, let’s be adults about this.”
“And what?”
She frowns. “I don’t know what. Pretend it didn’t happen? Post it on social media.”
“With a popcorn rating? How many bags would you give me? Five overflowing bags of extra butter movie flavor popcorn?”
She rolls her eyes. “Funny.”
“Maybe we should shake hands? That’s a mature adult thing to do.” I stalk closer to her with an extended hand.
“Don’t.” Her eyes dance as she swats at my fingers. “If you try to shake my hand or swat my butt and tell me good game, I’m going to….”
“What? Do it again?”
“Don’t tempt me,” she groans and shakes her head. “I’ve got to go. I’m already late for work.”
“Okay.” I swallow hard over the lump in my throat and drop my arm to my side. I dread her leaving because once she steps out the front door, it’s going to be like it never happened. We’re going to go back to avoiding each other and awkward silences if we happen to be forced to be around each other.
Her hand trembles as she glances at the bed behind me. At least she wasn’t completely unscathed by our encounter. “I’ve got to go.” She takes a step backward.
“Harbor?” She stops and waits. The vulnerability in her eyes almost does me in. I want to sling her over my shoulder and demand she move back. But I hold it together. She loves her job, and I must respect her decision. I cup her cheek. “Be careful.”
