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I stilled. “I’m still that guy.”
She laughed. Far too shrill and manic to be considered sane. “Tell me, Henri,” she spat as if my name contaminated her tongue. “Was any of it real?” She held up her hand before I could speak. “And I don’t mean the things you said to me. The remarks that ‘I’m different’ and you’re ‘aware’ of me. Spare the seduction spiel, okay? I might’ve bought it back at the club and clung on to that stupid hope, but you proved—very ardently—that you’re incapable of feeling anything but lust and selfishness.”
Gritting my teeth, I focused on controlling myself.
Ily took my silence as the perfect opportunity to add more fuel to my already burning fires.
“Can you believe I actually thought you were with someone else on the outside? That you were a good little undercover cop, doing his job—which included doing me—but you kept yourself bound and almost bashful because you belonged to another.” She huffed. “I actually felt sorry for you. Sorry you had to touch me in ways you didn’t really want to. Sorry you had to stray so close to the line you said you always struggled with.”
My heart skipped a beat, picturing myself with anyone else but her. The picture looked all wrong. Distorted. It was her or no one. I’d chosen her. Fate had chosen her. We were a done deal for life as far as I was concerned.
I might be a monster, but I had the unswerving loyalty of a monogamist.
Probably because the privilege of having just one person to call my own was enough after a lifetime of nothing. Sure, I could dabble with Victor’s jewels. Who knew, maybe I would get the urge, but why did I need another when I had her?
“You’re mine, little nightmare.” I leaned over her, fisting the leash binding her to me. “And I’m yours. The sooner you stop fighting that, the sooner we can begin our new life together.”
“New life?” She wrinkled her nose as sparks flew from her eyes. Yanking at her collar and bashing her golden cuffs together, she snarled, “This is no life. You stole my life—”
“Life comes in all shapes and sizes.”
“And all sorts of pain and suffering.”
I pursed my lips, allowing her that one. “There will be pain, but…I’ll protect you at the same time.”
She threw up her hands with a frustrated, unhappy groan. “This is what I’m talking about. Do you honestly not see the problem?”
“Problem? What problem?”
She cocked her head as if she truly didn’t understand me. “Answer me truthfully—”
“I always do.”
“Will you draw my blood again?”
“Definitely.” My tongue tingled instantly. “You taste like fucking nirvana.”
She shivered. “What else…what else do you plan on doing to me?”
“Honestly?” I shrugged. “Everything.” Reaching out, I ran my thumb over her cheek. “I want to whip you until you writhe. I want to mark you until you’re mine. I’m fighting the very real urge to order you to blow me right now because watching your gorgeous mouth form such fighting words is making me as hard as those fucking boulders in the pond.”
Shoving my hand away, she gulped. “H-How can you talk about abusing me and look at me the way you do?”
I smirked. “And how do I look at you?”
“Like…like…” She huffed; words tumbled in a rush. “Like you’re falling in love with me.”
“Would it be so bad if I did?”
“No one in their right mind could fall for someone they want to abuse.”
“I never claimed I have a normal mind.”
“You’re sick,” she whispered. “Every single bastard in this place is sick.”
“Perhaps.” I stroked the leash. “But that doesn’t stop the fact that I’ve been single most of my life, so I’ve missed out on the correct etiquette of a relationship. Just because I’ve stepped into my true self doesn’t make my past any less true. I’m still the guy who’s been excruciatingly lonely until the night I found you. The moment I saw you, that loneliness just seemed to…go away. And now that I have you? Truly have you. In a place where no one can take you away from me? I can’t explain the relief, the joy, the—”
“Stop it!” she shouted. “Just stop all your damn mind games. Stop—”
“Games?” I scowled. “No games. Truth.”
She laughed and looked me dead in the eyes. “Perhaps that’s your greatest fear, then. Loneliness.”
“My greatest fear?”
“I warned you I’d find your ultimate weakness, Henri Ward. I won’t stop. I’ll never stop until I find the one thing you’re most afraid of. Then I’ll use that knowledge as a pitchfork and ram it into your devilish heart.”
Nursing the flames she caused in my chest, I forced restraint and flicked a look across the far stretch of garden between us and the gothic-inspired castle. I was grateful we were far from the main residence. That the pond we sat at nestled beneath the towering walls of the keep where drawbridges and moats kept us protected.
